By Dean Shein

Swaps

I swapped Vegemite for Marmite.I swapped the shimmering town on the bay for the smoggy big city.I swapped Pavlova for Fish and chips.I swapped Sydney F.C. for Tottenham Hotspur.I swapped ‘Victoria Bitter’ for ‘McEwan's Lager.’ I swapped ‘Waltzing Matilda’ for ‘Swing Low Sweet Chariot’... Fuck off! I’d never do that.I swapped ‘G’day Mate’ for ‘Evening Chap’.I swapped a shiny Ford Falcon for a British racing green Jag.I swapped Albrecht La’Brooy for Aphex Twin.I swapped ‘The Castle' for ‘This is England’.I swapped the SCG for Lord’s.I swapped Longbeach for Benson & Hedges. I swapped Smiths cheese & onion for Walkers cheddar and onion.I swapped Vaucluse for Brixton.I swapped Nando’s for Nando’s.I swapped Sorry for Thank you. I swapped all night raves for all day runs.I swapped CD for Vinyl.I swapped Adelaide Hills for Denbies.I swapped the Blue Mountains for Dorking.I swapped New Age for New Wave.I swapped a Dingo for an Airedale Terrier.I swapped Yothu Yindu for David Bowie.I swapped Blundstones for Clarks.I swapped long hair for short hair.I swapped ordinary for extraordinary. I swapped Quicksilver for Lonsdale.I swapped my Akubra for a Top Hat. I swapped Round the Twist for Mr. Bean.I swapped walking for running.I swapped Freda’s for Corsica Studios.I swapped Soap Opera for Bath Time.I swapped Midnight Oil for The Rolling Stones.I swapped Darrell Lea for Cadbury. I swapped Dollarydoos for Quid.I swapped Garage Rock for UK Garage.I Swapped sunny Weather for Stormzy.I swapped Taxis for Black Cabs. I swapped Fitzwilliam for Shoreditch.I swapped Sunday blues for Sunday roasts. I swapped Surry Hills for Surrey Hills.I swapped Scott Morrison for Theresa May.I swapped Tennis for Paddle Tennis.I swapped a Veranda for a Chesterfield. I swapped the Bee Gees for Crazy Penis.I swapped Archie Rose for Foxdenton.I swapped Coffee for ‘Hot Chocolate’.I swapped Woolloomooloo for Waterloo.I swapped Rye Bead for Rye Wax.I swapped the Harbour Bridge for Big Ben.I swapped a story with a friend.I swapped the word swapped with trade.I traded it back to Swapped. I swapped the floor. (Sweep & Mop, simultaneously.) i SWAPPED THE CASE SENSITIVITY OF THIS SENTENCE.I swap, therefore I am.Burl Ives swapped a song.I swapped the purpose of this SCAB.I swapped one salt and vinegar chip for one barbecue flavoured chip, in year 3 at primary school.I swapped Johnny Rockets for Johnny Rotten.I swapped stagnation for growth.I swapped pandemonium for organised chaos. I swapped moron for oxymoron.I swapped ‘Yu-Gi-Oh!’ cards as a kid... Dark Magician was my favourite. Who was yours? I Swapped door 1 for door 2... and it made all the difference. I swapped stoned for runners high. I swapped my entire situation, on a whim.I swapped no for yes. I swapped yes for no. Robert Johnson swapped his soul with the Devil in exchange for the musical talents he acquired. I am at a crossroads...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd60nI4sa9A