Give Grief a Voice

My younger brother died two years ago. Have I got your attention? Good. A few years before he passed away, he dived into a pool, broke his back, and was paralysed from the shoulders down. But this blog isn’t about disability, it’s about something more morbid. Death. Specifically, grief.

I rarely speak about it, and I’ve never written about it - occasionally, I make a dark-humoured joke, which makes people feel immensely uncomfortable and renders most speechless, so I’ve stopped - but this summer, I was on holiday with a friend. Her dad had passed away from cancer around the same time as my brother. Someone put on a song that reminded her of her dad - a Pink Floyd number, his favourite. Understandably, she was triggered and visibly upset, but the room filtered out until it was just us left.

Then she wept, I stayed silent for a while, gave her a hug and then we spoke. She told me it was “the first time this had ever happened” and then apologised, deciding my situation was worse. What a considerate and yet wild thought. I assured her it’s not a competition and if it was, it would be a race to the bottom.

Whilst many can sympathise with our situations, very few can truly empathise. There was no need for the usual variety of “How are you holding up?” questions. Instead, there was a mutual understanding.  A bond. We were part of an unfortunate club that no one wants to be a part of and yet almost all of us will eventually join.

There’s no right way to grieve but there’s also a lack of awareness and understanding around it. The industry prides itself on empathy, understanding audiences and breaking taboos. For example, all the CALM work hasn’t just entered the cultural conversation, it’s changed it and got men talking about their emotions.

Yet as a society, we’ve silenced grief when it should be shouted. I saw a campaign recently by the Sue Ryder charity, whilst I found the tone a touch too sombre it shone a light on the stat that “88% of people feel alone in their grief,” and the message “Grief Deserves Better” was as powerful as it is true. Crucially, it connected emotionally and proved effective, driving the second-highest Google search ever for the charity.

Our industry is in a powerful position to break this last taboo. It must do more to encourage individuals, communities and cultures to speak about grief and to feel comfortable doing so. If it’s right and relevant for your brand, and the work resonates with your audience, your brand - and society - will be better for it.

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