Slimeball – By @josieaefinlay

By Josie Finlay

Slimeball

I learned a new creative technique yesterday. Basically, you free-write lots of sentences with the structure ‘get to...by…’ – filling in the first gap with a certain group of people, followed by the thing you want them to do. In the second gap you come up with a method to make them do this thing.Yesterday we played it to help us with our pensions brief. In a matter of minutes, it led us from a pretty pedestrian idea about giving pension customers wellbeing benefits, to an exploration into how we can bring pensions to the attention of fetish communities.So here I go with another round of G2B. This time my two inspirations are:- I just ate half a tub of peanut butter- Yesterday I bought my first pot of slime (love it – highly recommend if you haven’t invested yet).Let’s play…..Get To By!!*Get Josie to stop eating so much peanut butter by replacing it with green slimeGet bike dads to stop eating so much peanut butter by making lycra in smaller sizesGet people who are scared of wearing Lycra to stop being so scared of wearing Lycra by giving a free pot of slime as Lycra lubricantGet peanut allergy sufferers to start eating peanut butter by synthesising a new peanut free peanut butter out of potatoesGet Bjork fans to wear slime by hacking her music videos and adding slime graphicsGet smokers to quit by giving them a shape to mould their slime into every time they want a cigaretteGet SCA students to invest in slime by selling a different colour to each student so they can put it on their pens and then they won’t lose them every dayGet basketball players to buy exclusive peanut butter by putting it on the top shelfGet wedding dress shops to give complimentary peanut butter by shaming them for promoting alcoholism when they give out glasses of proseccoGet Trump voters to buy pots of slime by putting them in the impulse buy section of gun shopsMake america great again by crushing the white house by a gigantic glob of slimeGet people to stop buying guns by starting a guerilla gang that clogs up guns with peanut butterGet spotify users to start buying CDs again by deleting all songs off Spotify that don’t have the word slime in (turns out there are actually loads of songs with the word slime in so this might not work)Get Hello! Magazine readers to tell their friends about slime by sending Meghan and Harry on a slime factory tourGet Mary Berry to make a slime flan by faking an obscure 1800s recipe from Catalonia called flan de llimona (slime in Catalan)Get John Lewis shoppers to shop at M&S by replacing Elton John with a steaming mess of piano-playing slimeGet newborn babies into slime early by injecting their mothers with slime so it gives an extra lining to the amniotic sac when they are in the womb*Food for thought there, definitely. I especially like the idea of Meghan and Harry going on a slime factory tour. Now I really want to go on a slime factory tour. Do you think there are slime factories that just make slime? Or is slime a by-product of something else? If you’ve got any intel on the subject – you know where to find me.