By Gnome

Rough and Ready

This was never meant to be.A summer of missed opportunity.Full of firsts and lasts.A flick of the switch. Hit restart.I had placements. People. A portfolio.But I wasn’t ready and set to go.When I should have been flying, I was falling.With nothing but demons calling.I hit rock bottom.But I didn't see a problem.It was my life, how I wanted to live it.More drugs. I had no limit.I’d score with precision.To keep the truth out of vision.When others stopped, I started again.Charlie became my best friend.He was my blanket. He kept me warm.He was my only norm.I had to ask a question.I had to get help.Continue and die, or stop and retry?The answer is simple now in my mind.I want a positive future.To be a role model for my kind.I became the expected. That care leaver.The addict. Angry. Underachiever.One is too many and a thousand never enough.There’s wrong which is easy.Then there’s right but fucking tough.I’m not a selfish person, but I kinda have to be.I need to come first in my recovery.So for this next bit, I don't care what anyone thinks.We are human and all our shit stinks.I moved in with Marc.Got clean, basically a fresh start.I’ve been given something I’ve not really had before.A family, love, people that want me to soar.But for now I’ll be back at SCA.To find the right way.We’re all here for a reason.We all go different ways.Life is a challenge but it pays.And I’ll suck it up because it’s not all that bad.Especially now that I have a dad.