Notes from a freak show – By @josieaefinlay

By Josie Finlay

Notes from a freak show

Being at SCA has led me to do some quite weird things, like stalking an RSPCA employee from Slough, and taking 43 pictures of a wall. I topped them all the other day when I went to Brent Cross shopping centre on Christmas Eve, by choice. I thought it would be prime people-watching time, but I was disappointed not to see anyone doing a tug of war with a turkey or other similar festive behaviour. The surprising civilised-ness turned out to be deceptive, though: everyone is a weirdo anyway, as I found from my fieldwork, conducted from a bench between Waitrose, McDonald’s, and the Vype vape lounge.Part 1. Facing Waitrose.11.50No one looks that stressed. Everyone seems fine, or maybe they are just in a daze. A few people are talking to themselves.11.51Really put-together woman walking out of Waitrose with a thick cappuccino moustache.11.52A woman with sad eyes sucks deeply on a McDonalds milkshake. A mother and daughter are both wearing a Mickey Mouse Christmas jumper, but they aren’t matching.11.53A woman in maybe pyjamas has bought 4 bags of flour. A man walks leaning forward with his hands clasped behind his back, like my dad does. Only really seen men over the age of 50 walk in that wayA little girl is wearing glittery snowflake deely boppers (is that what they are called) and looks pretty DAMN smug about it11.54I can’t wait to be a parent and constantly be adjusting my kid’s hat11.56Just seen the first poinsettia purchase of the day. Why people like poinsettias so much, I’ll never understandA man looks pleased with his pack of cheddar slices. He is reading the receipt, grinning11.57Cappuccino moustache number 2, this time from an older woman in a beige beret studded with pearls. She’s drinking her cappuccino from an orange china mug. Never really seen someone do that in a public place11.58What looks like 3 generations of women have all come to Brent Cross together. They’re sharing a Christmas sandwich and reading out the ingredients, laughing loads11.59A teenage girl is acting like such a teenage girl, rolling her eyes and getting out her phone while her dad is shouting at herThis guy looks like a real beach rat (first time I’ve ever used the phrase beach rat and not feeling too confident about it) – he is wearing rubber sliders, tropical shorts, bleached hair, air pods and swinging a massive bottle of evian in his hand. The twist is, he also has on an oversized yellow puffer jacket. Where has he come from?? Where is he going???More members have joined the Christmas sandwich discussion group, and are now talking about ageing.12.01The skinniest jeans of the day prize goes to the man with hair that looks like a hat12.02I’ve seen my first and hopefully last Rick & Morty themed Christmas jumper, which says ‘Pickle Rickmas’Part 2. Facing McDonalds.12.04Some people come out of McDonalds that you really wouldn’t expect to see in there. Like this older middle-aged Japanese woman with a nice smart coat and a silk scarf. I want to know what she ordered12.06A man with wispy hair smiles wistfully as he fishes the last crumbs of chip from his carton with two fingers.It seems people still shop at Hollister12.08In the future, will people laugh at the idea of vape lounges?12.09Taking a McDonald’s straw out of its paper wrapper is such a specific feeling. So is holding a paper bag of fast food with the top rolled over12.11Someone just came up behind someone they knew and gave them a fright. She had real real fear in her eyes for just a second, kind of horrible to seePeople are having a really nice time together. I want to go somewhere where people are more stressed !Part 3. In the area with River Island and JD Sports12.16This is more like it. In these parts, people are closer to death. I’ve already seen an adult man looking like he’s about to cry, and whining, ‘where are we goinggg??’.12.17Why do kids have a compulsion to always touch the sides of stuff, like the walls in busy shopping centres, even when they are walking quite far from the wall?12.18Yeah, that’s enough.