SCABs

Wordsmith

Teddy Souter

 

 

 

 

 

By @teddysouter

 

Wordsmith :

“An expert in the use of words”

 

I love that word. Its just so bloody cool. I read Mike Skinner referring to himself and others as “Wordsmiths” in his autobiography and thought Jesus, I want to call myself that. Unfortunately I’m not quite comfortable enough with my vocabulary to request “wordsmith” to be engraved into my grave stone just yet. But it’s something to aim for. 

This scab is a list of my top 5 favourite Wordsmiths, with a quote from each of them and why I like them. If you disagree thats cool, but its only my opinion anyway so yeah, enjoy.

5. Scroobius Pip

5. Scroobius Pip

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you don’t know, get to know. The guy is a master of the spoken word. He’s a great story teller whose poems are not only beautiful, but are also incredibly true reflections on the human condition.
 
“Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder,

I was lucky enough to be near her so I told her,
Funnily enough I missed the freckles on her shoulder,

even on the hottest of nights her skin was colder.”
 
This lyric is from Scroobius pips song “Tommy C” which is all about what he thinks true beauty is and how it’s all subjective, which is a common message, but I’ve never heard it put quite as elegantly as that.
4. Sean Doyle

4. Sean Doyle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sean is my favourite copywriter to date. His work is so sharp and clever yet insanely simple too. He’s made adverts for the economist, Volvo and many more as well as THAT English heritage ad. But my favourite line he wrote was for Nike english rugby.
 
“It’s not the winning that counts, it’s the taking apart”
 
Boom.
3. Richard Curtis & Ben Elton

3. Richard Curtis & Ben Elton

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These guys wrote the scripts for Blackadder. Which basically taught me how to insult my younger brother in a sophisticated way, which I will forever be grateful for. Some of the lines that Blackadder says to Baldrick are the greatest executions of sarcasm and wit I have ever seen. However one quote will always stick in my memory:
“”I couldnt be more petrified if a wild Rhinoceros had just come home from a hard day at the swamp and found me wearing his pyjamas, smoking his cigars and in bed with his wife.”
 
I would die a happy man if I came up with that.
2. Alex Turner

2. Alex Turner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sod it, I don’t care, he’s the coolest man thats ever lived and he knows it. He is British indie’s greatest lyricist bar none, not to mention he’s a brilliant singer. The Arctic Monkeys latest album “AM” featured a bundle of amazing rhyming couplets but my favourite is:
 
“Arabella’s got some interstellar-gator skin boots/And a helter skelter ’round her little finger and I ride it endlessly”
 
What a lyric that is. Other people would just have said, “I fancy this chick a fuck load and will do what she wants”, but Turner is far too slick for that. He has a stratospheric ability to elaborate and dramatise a simple message in a way that just makes everything sound so much more epic.
1. Matt Groening

1. Matt Groening

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The creator of my favourite T.V show ever. The Simpsons. Nearly everyone says that it sucks now, but I still lap up all the jokes Groening and his team create. Some of the stuff that comes out homers mouth is so inspiring, in its own stupid way. This scab would never end if I was to reel off all of my favourite quotes from The Simpsons but I’ll trim it down to just three.
 
Homer: “It takes two to lie, one to lie, and one to listen”
 
Homer: “Televison! Teacher! Mother! Secret Lover!”
 
Grand pa: “I used to be “with it” but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what i’m with isn’t “it” and what’s “it” seems weird and scary to me”
 
The scripts from the Simpsons are so true and insightful, yet hilarious and original. A feat any writer should aspire to emulate.
 
Thanks for reading this far.

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