By Alysha Radia
WHAT SHOULD I WRITE MY SCAB ABOUT? I ASK HUSH AT MARKET HOUSE.
It’s no secret that I’m not great at remembering my SCAB deadline. And I have written so many of late that I am a well run dry. So I thought I’d ask my cohort for a bit of help to make sure I never miss one again so I’ll always have a bank of ideas at the ready, any time I’m stuck for SCAB ideas in the future. What a great gang, always willing to help out.
Sophie: “Alysha and I go way back. We both went to St. Andrews in Scotland yet we only met in September this year. Some would call it fate. Other would say destiny”
CHARLES: “you should write your scab about how great charles is and how he never complains, grumbles or moans. He’s such a great guy! “
ROB: “Small dick energy is underrated. So far it’s not working for me but I have faith. In tiny dicks.”
ZOE: “One day I was walking through the forrest…. Not that Forrest…. run.”
JEMMA. “Need that BDE. Okay. cool. Thanks. bye. “
ALEX B: “Baking! Tell us about your “side hustle” lol”
FORREST: “Why gluten free cooking is the way off the future. “
JOE: “You’re undying love of banter at the Market House…. LADS LADS LADS”
ANTONIO: “Your problem with SCABs. How is it possible that you ALWAYS have to write a SCAB?? Marc if you need it I can help you to check if there’s something wrong with the SCAB list. Also we can make money using all Alysha SCABs to write an advice book for the school.
I really hope I’ve taken a lot characters for complete this one. Cheers, lots of love, Antonio Castellano, art director from Rome!”
DAN: ”take it away Laurence “
LAURENCE: “fuck the police”
JOE RIB: “Who is Laurence? Also, how would Alysha solve Brexit?”
LEONORE: “And after you’ve solved Brexit, how are you going to solve climate change?”
VIC: “I think the time has come to take advantage of Market House. I believe we should get a discount from them as we always come here to drink. Write a compelling way to convince them.”
HOLLY: “The history of our friendship – starting with the 4th of September 1998 and ending with the present day.”
Alfie – “Sex n drugs n rock roll… all my brain n body neeeeeds”
Marta: “The benefits of drinking beer”
DJ- “I can’t think of anything”
Thanks and goodnight.
Alysha Radia SCA 2018 – 19.