By Tom Flynn
I am confrontational.
This is common knowledge.
I wouldn’t be surprised if anyone who meets me refers to me as the fighty Irish cunt.
This is fair, I am very mouthy.
I quite like a fight (we are speaking here in intellectual terms; I’m opposed to actual violence as a means of settling disputes.)
What I’ve been pondering recently is what causes me to pick these fights.
Grand master Lewis, in his infinite wisdom, says I put up walls.
That is to say, once I find someone or something to be oppositional to my thinking, I stop listening.
And then continue to refuse to listen until the transaction has ended or I’m given a chance to swing my tiny dick around and make a contradictory point.
That really is what happens.
I have zero tolerance for what I assume is shite.
Thing is, shite being a subjective classification, I often lose out on important or interesting viewpoints.
And while I’m aware I throw up walls, and am attempting to stop doing so, I’m not too sure what it is that causes this terrible affliction.
It could be my inexplicable need to be right.
A symptom perhaps of the dichotomous nature of my outwardly confident behaviour and the my internal cripplingly poor self-esteem and self- doubt.
It could just as easily as a symptom of growing up, I was a very quiet child, shy and afraid of confrontation.
As an Adult, I’m almost ashamed of that and am now striving to distance myself from such cowardice.
Perhaps my own version of Adult state is one that’s verbally combative.
It could simply be I’m passionate about what I believe and am happy to defend it.
That, however, reflects all too well on my character, I know myself too well to believe that shit.
I dunno, whatever the reason, it makes me a bit of a wanker sometimes.
So, if I seem a bit of an arrogant mouthy twat, I am, but I’m sorry about it, I don’t mean to cause upset.
I should listen especially hard to people who don’t agree with me.
Opposing viewpoints are ineffably valuable for a creative person.
Plus, if everyone agreed me with me, I’d never get to have a fight about anything.
That would be a true tragedy.
So, I promise, to all gathered here today, to build no more walls.
I promise to listen to what my neighbour might have to say, regardless of my opinion on them or what they might have to say.
I will however reserve my right to get mouthy and to be verbally riotous should someone prove to be either wrong or an intellectual invalid of such a magnitude as to lower the IQ of the rest of the room.
And I invite any and everyone else to treat me with the same ferocious impoliteness if I prove to be either wrong or an intellectual invalid of such a magnitude as to the lower the IQ of the rest of the room.