By Lucy Pennock
UKIP Fan Fiction P.t 1
Josh Gibbons, is the youngest member of the UKIP party. Born in Clacton, Josh signed up to the party after Mr. Farage gave a speech at his local primary school. He was five.
Growing up Josh took coding classes and on graduating founded his own data-analytics company ‘Hack U’ which he sold to Facebook for a net worth of $22million US dollars. Josh is now the head of the UKIP Young Independence party and is a firm supporter of a ‘Hard Brexit’.
He recently attended a UKIP conference in Birmingham where it was Josh’s idea to create the Hard Brexit Nigel Farage condom. In an interview with the Mirror, he stated: “Here at UKIP we are keen to pull out of the EU as quickly and as effectively as possible. The condom idea came about because Nigel is the man to protect us. He is the literal personification of a Hard Brexit and all of us need to back him. The conference has been incredibly successful here in Birmingham. The coffee was free, and we made about £30 in condom sales. Overall a huge success.”
Recently allegations have been made against Mr Farage for assaulting and grooming Josh on several occasions during his primary school years. No formal investigation has been opened and Farage declined to comment.
He was fundamental in the Vote-Leave campaign, and despite allegations of Hack U’s involvement in the misuse of data and hijacking of votes, he pleads his parties innocence.
Josh and Farage also attended the Leave march in Linby, near Nottingham yesterday. They were delighted with the turn-out which consisted solely of the two of them. “It’s nice to get some alone time, you know.” Farage chuckled as he walked hand in hand with Josh along the cobblestones.
After the walk, they stopped off at a local pub. He insisted that the People’s Vote march in London was all, in fact, “a total hoax”. The helicopter shots of millions of people walking towards parliament were merely just “tiny ants” and were not at all real people. “We are still the majority, the People’s Vote march is the biggest cover-up our country has seen”, he retorted as he winked at Josh from across the table.
Josh simply declined to comment.
The copy scores 65.2 in the Flesch Reading Ease test