By Twyla Lidén

I did not hit the ground running. I fell flat on my face, rolled around and some how found myself standing and watching everyone pass me. I was behind, way behind. A challenge ahead, just the way I like it. Just the way I need it be. To have that immense fire burning behind my ass, not accepting any excuses. Either I get my shit together or I burn. I know for a fact that my hair does not react well to flames, so I got to doing.

I only have a slight idea of what is to come this year and that gives me the same bubbly stomach as I had after trying the sketchy but surprisingly good street food in Peru. I don’t like to be unsure when it comes to my future, or so I thought. But apparently that is what I need to be to get my mind and body out of ”sloth mode” and into ”I CAN DO ANYFUCKINGTHING mode”.

There is no such thing as ”I can’t”. There really isn’t. I mean obviously sometimes you shouldn’t, but you still CAN. Like reading ”Your memory, how it works and how to improve it” in 3 days. You really shouldn’t, but you CAN.

I am searching my mind for intellectual reflections about life and starting a new chapter etc etc..but I find nothing. It is an empty room. I wish my head was as stuffed with interesting things as my room and my room as empty as my head right now. I am a collector, so you might understand how cleaning out my room is heartbreaking for me. I have every single birthday card I have ever gotten stored away in my crazy collection cabinet. Other things tucked away in there include:

• A piggy bank filled with money that now has expired
• 3 fan letters to Adele that I was too chicken to send
• All the Adele merchandise you could ever imagine
• A baseball signed by my 8th grade boyfriend who said he was going to be famous and that I could make big bucks by selling it later on in life…Still waiting
• An immense amount of dust
• The Declaration of Independence, a very reasonable gift for the foreign exchange student who almost failed social studies
• A pee funnel for girls to be able to pee standing up
• All my darkest secrets

I went through the cabinet in hopes of sorting some things out. That was not a very realistic goal to set up. I ended up reading all my pre AND post pubescent diaries, finding a necklace I was sure my 7th grade BFF had stolen and added another journal from my travels in Peru.

So, now I am leaving this room and my cabinet. I have to admit though, that I already checked out some furniture stores around my new flat and have my eye on a couple of beauties just waiting to be filled with my mad memorabilia. I hope my flatmate is just as excited as I am. If not, I will just lock her in there as well.