By Jacqueline Hedge
Things About Partners You Should Probably Know if You Are Starting Next Year
So this is it, I have an opportunity to seem wise and been-through-it-all for all of y’all starting next year. I probably have absolutely no right to be but there are always liberties for the taking. So here goes…
Partners. It’s one of the main things people will have in their minds when they come here. They come in different forms and at different times. Some may work better than others, but the main thing that you will find is that half of the plethora of learning you will do in the year will come from them; and a lot of it will be about yourself.
My partner was one of the first people I chatted and clicked with on the first day. We became friends, but we didn’t team up till easter. We had tried at the beginning and it didn’t work.
Our problem was that we needed to grow. Emotionally, creatively, personally, possibly vertically in my case.
Partner lesson 1: friendships work because you have the same interests/humour/wavelengths. Partners work when your objectives match up and each of your reference points come together in ways that compliment each other.
Even when we finally teamed up, it wasn’t rainbows and unicorns. As friends, we were honest with each other. Giving advice and a shoulder to cry on. As work mates, we were brutal. We snarled, spat and cried our way through our teething process. Storming out our dynamic. Getting to know how far each person could be pushed. It should have torn us apart, but the thing that kept us together was valuing honesty.
Partner lesson 2: much like falling in love, once you get over the honeymoon stage of creative synchronicity and start realising each other’s faults, it takes more than just creative attraction to keep you together. We did it in an emotionally unintelligent way, but being able say what’s bugging you and where people can pick up or let go is very important in times of stress.
Partner lesson 3: don’t cling.
We’re still getting the hang of this. When you’re stressed, it’s very easy to cling onto each other, especially if you’ve been each other’s crutch before. The thing that worked with my other partnerships, which split for differences in desires, was the ability to get out of each other’s space. This was also easier because we weren’t close.
Good craft doesn’t come from hanging over each other’s shoulders. You must be able to think together, but also be able to go your separate ways, do whatever you need to do, and come back later. It will only put more stress on your relationship if being together means work.
In summary, it all feels a little bit like this: