By Pietro Spadafora
How is it going? Before we meet next week, on the “judgment day”, I thought that I could perhaps write to you. There is a Latin proverb that states: Verba volant, scripta manent (spoken words fly away).
I want to be clear and explicit, as you taught me. In four minutes I will never be able to make you understand what I am and what I feel. So, I have to be brave and tell you right away: I want to stay with you at least for another six months. I want to share every moment of it, both in joy and in pain. This letter will be more a confession than a reflection.
I was shocked when the first day we met you told me that your ideal partner “more than being The Special One, he must make a commitment and work 24/7 on the relationship”. At the beginning, I could not understand your game, when you tried to make me feel uncomfortable, but I have to admit that your strategy has helped me grow a lot. You are very demanding but I now know that everything you do is to make me, and your other suitors, become better people; I have never told you before, but your demands have given me many sleepless nights. You are frank, direct and tremendously new age. You have been able to alter my moods as easily as anyone has ever done before. You have had the brilliant idea of making me try meditation to give myself some moments of relaxation. I have learned that in the past you have given difficult times to some of your old admirers.
Every day spent with you makes me think that I know you better and better. I like you because you have more than 800 different faces. That is really weird…
I now have to tell you something about myself. From the outside, it may seem that I have disrespected you, through delays and disappearances. I have tried many times to impress you, but I still feel that I have not yet managed to fully satisfy you by giving you my best. Paradoxically, if I had committed myself less, my surprises would have come out better; I probably have focused too much on the details without fully committing on the ideas. However, I think I can say that thanks to the meticulous study to try to surprise you, my execution has improved a lot. I still have some performance anxiety but it is with time, and with the right partner, that I can get rid of it. I am still struggling to tell you when I have a problem or when things are not going in the right direction, but I am committed to improving.
You pointed out, in your first letter to me, my faults. Am I improving? I hope so… I want to assure you that I have always remained faithful to you, I never betrayed you with anyone else. We already have some language problems between us, can you imagine how the relationship with a French partner might have been? I saw her the day before yesterday and I did not feel anything, our relationship (unfortunately or fortunately) is probably over before we start. I have never felt such an engagement with any other partner and I have felt more accepted by you than by anyone else.
How many adventures have we been through together? I have indelible memories of the first day I met you, do you remember? You offered me prosecco at 9 in the morning, that seemed very weird to me. We did spend some awkward moments, like the time I arrived late for breakfast and you made me dance in front of your family. Tragic moments, like the time you wrote to me on Facebook and I never replied, but also happy moments, like the time we went for a picnic and I brought you home-made bread. But also intimate moments, like when we furnished your home.
I must admit that when I first met you I was a little intimidated, we had different tastes and passions. I had just finished studying and working in the world of ancient art and you have always been interested in the world of advertising. I do not think this is an obstacle, on the contrary… We are both lovers of the aesthetic and beautiful and eventually the old masters in 17th century frescoed churches and palaces were meant to attract the faithful and charm the stranger: we can say that it was an ancient form of advertising. We are both a little crazy and that is what attracts us.
I thought I was a man already formed, but you evidenced many of my weaknesses… I feel I am still in a moment of transition, still highly malleable. It would be really sad to end this path too early. Honestly, I have not understood why you have at last decided to see me. I know it is correct, to be frank in a dialogue but why right now, when we have to decide whether we split up or not?
Call it love at first sight or as you like, but it is a fact: I have lost my mind for you from the first glance. I know that if I found the right words on Tuesday I could stay on, but it is so difficult to find them, throw it all away in just 4 minutes seems like madness to me. I feel fine when I am with you, with your family, and even with your dog. What more can one ask for? Tuesday, among other things, is our four-month anniversary and you want to spend it this way? Bah. I know that I love you because sometimes I hate you. Only for the people you really love you can feel pure hate, as Saffo said in Odi et Amo: I hate and I love. I do not know, but I feel it is happening and I am tortured.
I am probably boring you with all this fuss… unfortunately I am an eternal romantic. I wanted to write you a few words and be much more concise (as you like, “Keep it simple stupid”) but eventually, I really needed to open myself. I recently heard a friend of yours telling: I’m sorry if this letter is so long, had I had more time it would have been shorter.
The time has come to finish this letter and make some promises: I will make you feel proud to stand by me, I am sure you will enjoy taking me with you to Events. I am ambitious: I want to win prizes for you.
Thank you so much, my darling SCA,
P.S. I know it may seem rushed but can I have the keys to your home? Sooner or later your aunts will kill me if I keep ringing every time I go down to smoke a cigarette …