By Rob Heimann
The crap I love/Don’t be ashamed
I love some pretty terrible stuff. Honestly the kind of thing that makes people arch an eyebrow with a sardonic, “Really..?” barrelling past their lips. People will look at me afresh (if the first impression I made was any good), wondering how they misjudged me so badly. It’s all subjective I suppose but occasionally it is just bad.
Don’t get me wrong I like the subjectively good things in life; French cheese, literary fiction, wine, St John’s restaurant, tiny art galleries, craft beer, good company, the hot new Netflix show, cinema with subtitles all that stuff. And of course the somewhat smug feeling that comes with enjoying talking like I indulge in those things all the time. I don’t (apart from the beer). I really do love those things from time to time but, if I’m being honest I get just as much (if not more) of a thrill from the crap ‘cos I know that I shouldn’t be enjoy myself as much as I am. That slight self loathing, that bit of disgust that I know you’d feel when I tell you about it. God. It’s so damn good.
I know I’m not unique, I know that you love some crap too. Maybe we could all indulge in some group schadenfreude at some point? It’d be great opportunity for us so sneer at each other and feel better about ourselves all at the same time.
Seeing as you’ve been so patient I will now tell some of the crap that I love, why I love it and try not to justify myself too much.
- Fried Chicken. This one ain’t so bad. Fried chicken is great. That’s a universal truth. What I like though is bad fried chicken. Wings that have come from some horrible, abused chicken that was probably grateful that it was chopped and deep fried. Give nasty cheap chicken wings, anytime of day, reheated and dry. I don’t care.
- Reality TV. Any reality TV show. To the point where I have to manage it as a problem. I will only watch a show with my girlfriend, otherwise I’m not allowed. Even when I was visiting her in Indonesia she put on Asia’s next top model and then I tried to watch it all the time. So that time it was her fault.
- Professional Wrestling. This is the the one. You just felt a bit sick, or shocked, or just plain disgusted. It’s a soap opera where everyone is in their pants, they fight and do flips. I will say that WWE is sometimes the absolute worst. I get so mad at them… but when they pull off a good or good dumb story; I’m so damn happy.