By Chloe Cordon

The bad days

The bad days. Ah the bad days. You get em, you know. You know the ones. The bad days. Yup, you get em, don’t you. The bad days.

I had a bad day today. Well, I can tell you one thing for sure. It wasn’t good. Is it ok if I complain for a sec? Ok. Good. Thanks. So. Started early. In Costa by 7:20 only to sit there for 20 minutes waiting for my 6 year old mac to wake up. That was bad. Then I got to school. That was ok. Then I made a coffee and put too much coffee in. That was bad. Then I showed my book to a well known mentor who ahem, ca(i)ned it. That was very bad. Then I was in a very bad mood. So I ate a lot of food. That was good and bad. And I bought cookies after. That was definitely bad. And you know what, readers? I just felt right rubbish. I felt like all my work was a little bit wank, and that was bad.

Because from there I decided I am bad. And when you think you’re bad you can only do bad. The best strategy I wrote today was ‘the toilet of your dreams’ (watch this space) and I’m pretty sure that’s bad. In fact, this SCAB is probably bad, because I am bad.

And then it reminded me of this cool book I’m reading on Neurolinguistic Programming (see how crazy cool and clever I am) and it talks about kids. And what it says about kids is how to act when they’re bad. Like if they kick the guinea pig or mix cocaine into their dib dab or do whatever bad kids do these days. How would you normally react? You’d say ‘omg u r well bad’ or something to that effect. You tell the kid they’re bad.

***X FACTOR RED BUZZER NOISE***

Nooooooo don’t do that! What the NLP gods say you should do, is say to that naughty little munchkin ‘hey. That thing you did. That was bad. But you my friend are a shining star. You are smart, you are kind, and you are important.* But kicking rodents and substance abuse are both terribly bad.’

And I feel like this, like a lot of things, shouldn’t just apply to kids. I shouldn’t tell myself I’m bad. I should tell myself ‘hey. That work you did. That was bad. But you my friend are a shining star. Soz to black hat but you know, if De Bono says it works then I guess it must work. I promise to green hat the next one.’ Cause omg today was dreadful and I got literally nothing done and that is absolutely not ok with 5 weeks left.

Oh, and if all else fails, take Peter Souter’s advice and stick your arms in the air like you’ve just won a race. God I feel good.

*watch The Help it’s a great excuse if you need a cry