By Karolina Kezdi

 

Thanks, Mom

 

This is my Mom’s Birthday, so I will make up for all the missed days in Gratitude Garden (it’s a mindfulness app, highly recommended, so try it).

 

• • Thanks for sharing all my SCAB, least you

 

• • Thanks for google translating it to yourself before

 

• • Thanks for reading me the Harry Potter books, so I will always have a topic with English people

 

• • Thanks for the effort to teaching me an average vocabulary at the age of 6, that makes me feel my English is shit

 

• • Thanks for taking me up to the London Eye, so I’m not wondering of it every day when I see it from the bridge, because now I know it’s boring as hell.

 

• • Thanks for being selfish enough and never let us to listen The Smurfs Hits CD in the car. Bob Dylan got a Nobel prize in literature, I can’t google the author of The Smurfs Hits lyrics

 

• • Thanks for never letting me watch the Big Brother, when I was sixteen, so now I waste my time on Love Island instead.

 

• • Thanks for trying to replace my dead hamsters during the night, it’s not your fault the pet shop didn’t have the same colour.

 

• • Thanks for: I can eat with a fork and knife, I can do a somersault and I know if something is really hot I have to drop and quickly grab my lobe.

 

• • Thanks for getting presents from the Santa Clause even after I realized that the Santa Clause doesn’t exist.

 

• • Thanks for carrying me to extra English lessons, extra math lessons, piano lessons, for writing the solfa syllables on the keyboard.

 

• • Thanks for making me try all the basic sports like swimming and running, which ones are good for my health, so I could realize early that I love only the extreme and expensive ones (skiing insanely fast, horse jumping, skydiving, cage diving)

 

• • Thanks for always being honest to me, so when I was suffering after my first break up and kept the ex-boyfriend’s used t-shirt under my pillow you just washed it, because: “it was smelling”.

 

• • Thanks for loving me when I was covered by my on shit from head to toe, after vomiting on the still of the bathroom or when you had to pick up my snotty tissues from everywhere in the house.

 

• • Thanks for Dad, we know always the woman choose.

 

• • Thanks for doing my laundry for years, but now you really should admit, that our washing machine is responsible for the tiny, exactly the same holes one every single item of clothing in the house.

 

• • Thanks for still trying to serve me the old tricks, like don’t make this face, you will stay like this.

 

• • Thanks for me being a girl, but I don’t think it was up to you. I mean not that way…

 

• • Thanks to the stiff period talk before the school trip at age 10 and putting a family package of pads in my suitcase, maybe I will need them. And special thanks to telling the teacher I have SOME with me, if I would need them.

 

• • Thanks for finding a way to coming over, tidying, then denying it after, even if I don’t live at home anymore.

 

• • And thanks for pretending that you haven’t found the awkward bits like condoms, erotic underwear, and fluffy handcuffs.

 

• • Thanks for going through my garbage and when you found something you didn’t know what is was you asked my sister, to make sure I’m not doing drugs. It was the package of a homeopathic cure for hangover. But thanks for worrying. I’m not mad.

 

• • Thanks for checking the handsome cashier guy’s name tag, to stalk him together on Facebook at home. Sadly he had an absolutely average name so we could never find him.

 

• • Thanks for the best life hacks: “Put it all on a plate, They’ll never know it’s from Tesco”

 

• • Thanks for commenting under my photos: “ These boots don’t look like real leather to me.”

 

• • Thanks for letting me grow up believing my parents only slept twice together, first before I was born, the second time before my sister was born.

 

• • Thanks for getting the flu from me, to feel myself less miserable.

 

• • Thanks for always having some zero yogurts in the fridge for me, only me, and you don’t let anyone else to touch it even if was expired months ago.

 

• • Thanks for being up to date on my newest diet and cooking accordingly when I’m going home. I know the raw vegan Christmas was tough.

 

• • Thanks for: No matter how old I am, all the time you ask me where am I going, with who and telling me not to forget to carry an extra layer. Thanks for always doing the same to my friends.

 

• • Thanks for not being mad if I’m not calling you for weeks, and send hearts on facebook instead to remind me to do it.

 

• • Thanks for: your first thing in the morning is to send me a message if someone has a birthday that day in the family, leaving me no chance to prove that I didn’t forget.

 

Happy birthday!! I love you!