Reviewing HUSH’s Fashion: What item defines you? – By @danieljburkitt

Amy Cranston | May 24, 2019

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By Dan Burkitt

Reviewing HUSH’s Fashion: What item defines you?

It’s fashion part two, and in this episode I will dissect the fashion choices of my colleagues. For the sake of brevity, I’m just going to discuss the item I feel most defines your aesthetic. What’s caught my eye? Read on to find out…
Saphire – All Black Everything
Saphire’s consistency is admirable – she could always walk into Berghain at a moment’s notice. The sight of her in an orange t-shirt early this week made me feel quite concerned. Should I have said something? Hope you’re alright mate.
Karolina – High Heels
Karolina power dresses. She could walk in to any situation, any time, any where, and she does. Much respect.
Mary – A Black Cardigan
Understated, but chic. Mary’s high fashion days are perhaps behind her now she’s a sensible married woman, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t cut a stylish figure in the studio.
Lucy – That Beret
Nestled at a jaunty angle on her blonde head, Lucy’s beret just screams H&M winter collection. Simple, impractical, and effective.
Lauren – Lucy’s Beret
Who wore it better? Arguably, Lauren. An honourable mention to Lauren’s jumpsuit – 20% plumber, 80% advertising creative, 100% stylish.
Jacob – Those Cream Chinos
Always covered in grease. Jacob’s whiter than white chinos have been a window into his recent weight gain, as they became noticeably tighter round the thighs. I suspect he doesn’t mind.
Marta – That Corduroy Cap
I’m a sucker for cord and so is she. It must be too hot in Spain to wear that kind of thing, so I understand why Marta rarely takes off her cord cap now she’s in colder climates.
Vic – Shoulder Length Hair
Vic’s decision to give her hair to someone in need was admirable and she looks even more stylish for it. Top marks.
Alfie – That Green Turtle Neck
Slightly moth eaten, it caught my eye nonetheless. Softer than soft. I think everyone in the studio would rather stroke Alfie than Squirrel when he’s got that bad boy on.
Max – Maxim Merch
Kudos to anyone who can wear their own brand without looking a prize bellend. Max pulls this off, sporting his own designs in a classic understated, skater chic.
Rachel – That Leather Jacket
Now winter’s over, Rachel’s leather jacket rarely makes an appearance. But during winter it was a constant feature. Perhaps a nod to her former days in a biker gang?
Tarun – Unbuttoned Flannel Shirts
Two parts lumberjack and three parts big bang theory, Tarun’s flannel shirts always look good. Tarun could either be here to fix your computer or write you some banging copy. Luckily, it’s the latter.
Forrest – Tiny Trainers
Man, this guy’s feet are small. Have you seen them? Luckily, he always disguises that fact with expensive trainers, which, although flashy, are undeniably “cool”.
Antonio – That Yellow Jumper
The sight of this jumper evokes painful nostalgia for me. The days of Team Danto. Simpler times. Like its wearer, the jumper brings sunshine to the room.
Ruby – Those Gold-rimmed Glasses
Ruby’s trademark glasses beg the question: is he a real intellectual or just playing the part? A five minute conversation with the man establishes the truth.
Coco – That White Jacket
Coco’s floor-length white jacket really signals her arrival. When she swishes in you know she means business. The white is perhaps a cunning disguise – a gesture to a purity that isn’t there.
Leli – Blazers
Another power dresser. One of the few people at SCA who looks like they’re working in an actual office. But more of a trendy media type of office, not a depressing David Brent’s office type of office.
Gemina – That Green Top
Gemina brings French chic to our crusty Brixton studio. Impressive that her time with Max hasn’t drawn her into the world of tattered vans and oversized tees.
Jemma – Crutches
It’s a crying shame that Jemma’s knee healed because those crutches really added a lot to her look. An accessory we should all consider adopting.
Alex T – Those Chequered Trousers
Was this a power play? Was Alex trying to out Marc Lewis Marc Lewis? Perhaps, we’ll never know, but his jazzy trousers really looked the part, particularly when paired with a Huel t-shirt.
Joe Rib – That Carharrt Hoodie
Does Big Rib own any other jumpers? I’m not sure. This was also personally aggravating as I have the same jumper, but I couldn’t wear it for fear of being accused of plagiarism. One out of Ten.
Joe F – That Huel T-Shirt
Like Alex, Joe F didn’t consign his free Huel march to the back of the cupboard like a normal person. Oh no, he wore it loud and proud. Kudos on the gains, bro.
Aleks – That Hilfiger T-Shirt
Serbia meets France meets London and the result? Effortlessly stylish dress. Aleks carries her concern for design into her fashion choices.
Tom – AirPods
If I didn’t know Tom, I’d think he was a complete twat. Seriously, what are the point of AirPods? Sell them and get yourself some real headphones, mate.
Patxi – That Philippino Maine
What I wouldn’t give to have Patxi’s hair. Those thick luscious locks are all that catches my eye.  I can barely look away. Does he even wear clothes? I haven’t noticed.
Maddy – Leopard Print
Rocking leopard print in all its forms, Maddy is constantly channeling her inner 80s porn star. Always appropriate and always stylish.
Joe C – That Juul
What says fashion icon more than a little USB stick hanging out your mouth? As Alex and Joe’s Lucky Strike campaign suggests, vapes don’t exactly make you look like James Dean.
Charles – High-Waisted Trousers
A man with trousers so stylish, he doesn’t need a midriff. Hoisted way up past his nipples, Charles’ collection of trousers never fails to impress. A special mention has to go to his green cords – absolutely sensational.
Josie – Wide-Leg Trousers
What is she hiding up there? A gun? A knife? A list of SMPs? Josie’s trousers just scream: ask me where the best bars are in Berlin. And, you know what, she can even give you the answer. Fair fucks.
Phil – Tight T-Shirts
For such a well-read man, Phil has remarkably well-toned biceps. Why not show them off? I would if I were him. Keep up the good work.
Alysha – Hair tied-up
What would Alysha do if all the hairband factories went on strike? She’d be completely lost just like the rest of us.
Zoe – That Key Necklace
Although they wouldn’t help her become a great cat burglar, Zoe’s jangly key necklace with SCA fob on display, do let the world know she’s on the way to becoming a great creative.
Sophie – Those Pinstripe Trousers
From the waist down, Sophie could be working in an investment bank. Fortunately, from the waist up she gives away the fact she is anything but a boring old banker.
Holly – Tattoos
Each and every one of Holly’s tattoos has an interesting story behind it. I can’t remember what they are but they’re definitely all interesting.
Alex B – Plaid Shirts
Like any true Canadian Alex has an impressive collection of plaid shirts. Do they send them to you when you renew your passport I wonder?
Andy – Shorts
What else could it be? The keen cyclist’s thunder thighs are certainly worth flaunting. But were they worth all the animals he had to slaughter in oder to bulk them up? I’m not so sure.
Dean – Tucked in T-Shirts
Dean often looks like he just crawled out of a ditch. But I mean that as a sincere compliment. The man pulls of bum chic like a true Aussie dude.
DJ – Zipped down Hoodies
Nothing should get in the way of DJ’s dance moves and nothing does. His clothes give him the freedom to move he needs.
Marc Lewis – Blue Hair
There’s not much of it left but Marc’s trademark blue hair really catches your eye. Serious big dean energy.

If you would like to dispute any of this or review my fashion choices pleas e-mail fashionreviews@danburkitt.gov . Much love to all.