By Zoe Slatter
I began to write this ‘Final Term’ reflection Scab during the last days of the term. I wrote it on a bus, it was dark and I was coming back from a dance class. Here is a small snippet to show you what kind of headspace I was in at that time.
‘I don’t know what I’m doing.
I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t know who I am being. All I know is that I am creative.
I play the piano.
I make art.
Notice how I put ‘I dance’ first. And now, I seem to write poems, Purely because I feel like it.
When I dance, I feel drunk
Like I don’t give a fuck about anything,
My body is moving, but my mind is at peace.
On pause, as if everything has evaporated into thin air. Opposite to now, my mind is dancing but my body is still ’
When I re-opened this to continue to write, I was shocked to see how negative I was feeling at that time. I can assure you now, I do not feel like that, but reading that certainly brings back the memory of those thoughts. There have been many times when I’ve felt like this; when I wasn’t sure what I was doing, why I was at SCA and why I wasn’t in another career instead. I’m indecisive, it’s an awful trait of mine but its something I want to and I will leave behind in 2017 as it’s taking up too much of my time, and that’s something well needed at SCA, especially next term.
Therefore, I wanted to set my self some targets to achieve. And as this goes public I will have no excuses not to stick to them.
I got pretty much all of SCA first term wrong. There are many reasons for this which I could list forever. But the biggest mistake of all was that I was too scared to make mistakes. Yes undeniably, I made many, but none were big enough, bold enough, wacky enough so I could learn from it and finally crack a brief. Doing this continuously in the first term has lead to me doing just, MEH, kind of stuff, and I don’t want to be seen as …MEH.
So that’s why in 2018, I want to make big mistakes.
To do this I understand I need to change a few things, so here are my new year’s resolutions to my self.
1. Loose whatever the fuck is holding you back.
2. Speak up in class, your way to quiet, surely all that thinking in your head annoys you.
3. Give yes and no answers to easy questions. It is that simple
4. Spend more time with mentors, they know way more than you, and your lucky to have them. 5. Spend more time with Ian, yeah your work may look bad now, but he can only make it better. 6. Stop panicking about time. You waste time panicking.
7. Dance at least once a week. Either contemporary, modern, commercial and tap, you seem to write continuously after this as if an exercise for your brain.
8. Find a piano somewhere and play it, same reason as resolution 7.
9. Have fun.
10. If this was your last minute on earth, would you be thinking like that?
I want to end this scab positively as I feel I have targetted, on everything that is wrong (to be put right). That’s why David Pearl visit was one of the most inspiring and life-changing learnings from
the first term at SCA as it hit me like a bullet to my brain. He made me realise that dwelling on the negative is such as pointless activity. The world is beautiful and we overlook it, we only want to have fun, therefore advertising is pretty much the best career to do this.