By Maddy Standish
Last week we were on half term (of sorts) and I had the time to do some thinking. Since we started seven weeks ago, we’ve learnt a ridiculous amount of wisdom in a short period of time. It can be difficult to digest it all when you’re constantly learning and moving. The step back gave me time to process things and mend the bits of disrepair that are starting to show in my personal life.
I saw my oldest friend on the weekend. We’ve known each other since we were three and share a lot of mutual friends despite not going to the same school since we were 11. She’s still close with someone who was my best friend and told me about how he had been struggling recently. I didn’t know. We hadn’t talked in months. I pressed her about the other people who I used to spend all my time with.
One of my closest friends in the world has now got a 1 year-old son.
I didn’t know that either. I worked out that I hadn’t spoken to him in almost 2 years.
He’s one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet and has given me the shirt off his back and the last of the tobacco in his pouch. It was upsetting to realise just how out of touch I’d let myself become with him and others.
Halloween marks my 3 year anniversary with my boyfriend. It’s also roughly the same time I stopped spending all my time with certain people. It’s how things often go. Life changes and different routines and habits form. You disconnect with things you were close to but it doesn’t have to stay like that.
Learning to balance your relationships, social life, work life are all things I’ll hopefully figure out. But it’s not going to happen if I’m complacent. Now when I feel that disconnect, I know I have to make a change before things get out of hand and you lose things that matter.
I called my friend on the phone and we spoke for an hour. It was brilliant. No hard feelings or guilt but an acknowledgement of how things change. I’ve reached out to other people; old friends, struggling friends and faraway friends. My habits need to change and I have to make sure things don’t get so far removed that I struggle to get back into a good balance.
I’ve been reconnecting with my work, too. Getting that energy that I had in the first few weeks when I knew fuck-all but tried so hard. It can be overwhelming because you’re learning new techniques constantly that you’re nearly oversaturated and don’t know where to begin. Then you get stressed because you’re trying but to trying everything in the right way. Getting back with the 7am starts, the time management, scamping and resilience with work ethic.
Send a text to that person you’ve been thinking of. There’s never enough time or the right time to reach out. I’m actually glad that we’re back. I missed structure over the break. More importantly, I missed my Filofax. Reconnect with what matters.