By Chloe Cordon

Questions

I’m going to put my hands up, I don’t often put my hand up. At school I’m never the one shouting up with a question, or keeping my hand hovering, propping it up with my other after a lengthy wait, until I’ve had my say. I’m envious of those who do. They’re memorable, insightful, and inquisitive. It’s not that I’m not inquisitive, or even occasionally insightful, shock horror, but I’m certainly not memorable.

So why don’t I pipe up? I think I’m more of a thinker. I get caught up in my own thoughts, and perhaps they don’t move fast enough for me to come up with well formed opinions and contributions at the pace of conversation. I’m one of those people who thinks up a great comeback (normally involving a pun) well after the argument actually happened. My ideas come in their own time, normally about the speed of a London bus. That is stupidly slow to everyone else, but terrifyingly fast to the cyclist that is me, peddling like mad in the inside lane when an indicator starts flashing. The topic has normally changed entirely by the time I’ve had a proper good think about it and decided what I might say.

And I’m a listener. I enjoy listening to what others have to say. I know Zac will always have a sexually charged suggestion to make, and Laurens will have some beautiful, deep thought or question that makes you wonder which wonderful world his head is in. I could never contribute those things to a conversation, and that’s the beauty of listening.

I thought a lot recently about quiet, but more importantly noise. Why does the word peace come with quiet? Peace comes with dialogue. Silence breeds conflict. We’ve all had the silent treatment and know it does not make things better. Nor does bottling up your thoughts, or not asking a question you need the answer to. But talking doesn’t just make peace. It creates bonds, friendships, solutions, questions, answers, emotions. Sound bridges culture, nationality, mood, and opinion, yet brings a defined unity to those very things. Noise helps people to work better. We all have our favourite playlist to write or create to. Shouts, screams, singing. They’re all there to allow you to express every emotion you feel; from the fear in your throat, to the passion in your cheeks and the curiosity in your fingertips. I’d go as far as to say sound is a pretty good thing.

But listening is also great. I recommend it to each and every one of you. But for you to listen I have to talk, right? I just went off on one about how incredible sound is, so I should probably make some. I guess. Ugh. Can’t I just listen to you lovely lot?

Now SCABs seem to follow a similar story a lot of the time; I’m having a problem, I should change. WAIT NO FUCK YOU THIS IS THE WAY I AM DEAL WITH IT. That’s great. But I have to find other ways to stand out (the whole not putting my hand up thing helps massively in blending in to the sea of sofas in the studio) so I’m not going to go for the standard SCAB story. I want to change. I want to grow. And I think this change will improve me and my experience at SCA. God knows I’m all about improving (there’s always a better idea there’s always a better idea). So I’m going to try my hardest to change. I’m gonna stick my hand up and pull something from my head. Probably something ridiculous. I once fell asleep in a taxi and was woken up by the driver telling me I was on the high street. I translated this into my own language and replied with “Ice cream. Pizza. I like pizza.” This is what happens when I talk without thinking; you’ve been warned.

I’ve set myself a lot of challenges since starting at SCA; stand up comedy, selling myself as a hype man, ?!?!?DRAWING?!?!?, not eating fried chicken for every meal ever.

This is definitely the hardest.

Chloe Cordon. Filter off. Over and out.