By Max Lom-Bor
Preparation is Key
If your nervous, don’t be. Let me tell you how I’ve prepared for the coming year.
1. I sent a video of myself stripping to the tune of Marvin Gaye’s, ‘Let’s Get It On’ to gain Marc’s attention and sealed the deal by pouring beer down my pants.
2. I currently have the shits, badly. I blame an egg and noodle based dish called Mei Goreng and a dangerously persuasive resteraunt frontman.
3. I have had my self confidence shattered by a group of Malasian people who pursued me down a backstreet shouting, “Mr.Harry Potter, do spell, do spell for us!”
4. I got very drunk at the D&AD event and crumpled like a Ryvita, falling backwards on my arse in front of, you guessed it, the SCA crew.
5. For the past 3 months I have been travelling and will be continuing until 3 days prior to the start of our course. A trip I thought may ‘expand my mind’ seems to have extended my overdraft and data usage. I have about 48 Instagram style images to prove that me spunking my inheritance was worthwhile. I am completely unaware of anything that is going on in the news, and the world in general.
6. I successful bullshitted my way into a Graphic Design degree certificate that means precisely nothing. Which warranted this response from my Dad, “Congrats on your 3 years of finger painting and play-doh, you arty farty fannycake x”
7. I have not begun a ‘This is Me’ project because I am busy ‘finding myself’.
8. My sole advice from my two friends who have successfully gone on from SCA has been, “just try not to be a bellend” and “Kick people wearing grey jumpers in the face..” – I will try my best.
9. I sexually assaulted avocados for my schorlarship submission. There was no reason behind this.
10. I chose a profile picture for this blog in which I am wearing a tweed suit. If you ever want to appear ‘down to Earth’ or mildly mask the fact that you spent most of your youth in Marble Arch, I suggest something casual.
I wouldn’t worry if I were you.