By Michael Hutton

I once struggled with what psychologists call Truman Show Syndrome.

The Truman Show delusion, informally known as Truman Syndrome, is a type of persecutory/grandiose delusion in which patients believe their lives are staged plays or reality television shows.

In Layman’s terms, you think you’re Jim Carrey in, you guessed it, The Truman Show. You think everyone is part of your story. That they are all living their lives’ for you.

It is of course totally absurd, but then again, so is the human mind. I am constantly blown away by what my mind can conjure up completely unjustly.

My time at SCA (first time around) was full of doubt. I constantly doubted myself. I doubted Marc’s practices. And I doubted my work. I was trying to make other people happy. 

But then I remembered the times before I started SCA when I took a certain (undisclosed) drug and walked around Barnes in the glorious August sunshine totally off my face.

No one looked at me. No one cared what I was doing. No one gave a fuck about me. They were too busy trying to decide whether to buy that Ricotta, Quinoa and Red Pepper salad, or Vegetarian Quiche with side salad and “that super yummy balsamic glaze”.

So if you’re doubting yourself, doubting your work, doubting anything, doubting everything, just remember that no one really gives a shit about you.

It’s strangely liberating.