By Christian Asberg
When I look in the mirror, what do I see, the same as everybody else?
I have come to realize, that I don’t show the person I actually am.
When people look at me, they see me as organized and calm, silent.
And that is to some extent true. I like to listen more than talk, not because
I don’t have anything to say, but because I get to know people a lot better when I hear what they have to say.
on the other hand, I am not organized, at all, and I had this great talk with Deanna, the other day, and that was an eye-opener for me, so first of all, thank you, Deanna.
What I learned from that talk was that I have been hiding myself, I have not shown people the real me, I guess I have been scared, scared of putting myself out there, I have had some difficulties over the last, well many years, and as we talked I realised that I have not shown people who I really am since I was 15. That is a long time to be hiding behind a mask, it is a long time that people have gotten the wrong impression of me.
When I look back, I used to be energetic, happy, eccentric all the time, and I know that we change the older we get, but I am still all those things.
The way I have been behaving the last 9 years, has been this calm, basic Christian, and there is nothing wrong with that because I am that person too, that person who rest in my self, but not all the time, far from. And honestly, I don’t want people to see me as that person because it is like living a lie.
We only get one first impression, and I have wasted mine on showing people the wrong me, but what I learned from Deanne, is that, we can change peoples perception of us, we can be the person we really are, and over time, people will start to change their view of us, and start to see us for who we really are.
I must be honest, I did not think it would be this hard to write this SCAB, normally I have no problem with putting myself out there, but this scares me a bit, because what if people don’t get it, what if people think I’m weird when I am my normal self, what if they like the Christian I showed better than who I really am. What if…….
I need to stop thinking about what might happen, and just jump straight into the abyss, for they might actually have the opposite opinion, they might actually like the person I really am better.
I don’t know, but one thing is for sure, after my talk with Deanne, I have decided to be the person I really am, every day I wake up, I tell myself to not be afraid, to open up and be who I am.
And for that I am grateful, so once again, a big thank you to Deanne and to SCA for having such an amazing mentor at school.