I stole a child’s chair. It was completely free.

I was with my friend Annie and she made a joke. I took it seriously and I took it.
I took the chair.

I sleep on three mattresses.
So I need a tiny chair.
I need a tiny chair to get on top of my three mattresses.

When people stay over they think I’m some type of princess. They’re right.

I may not have a crown. Or a castle.
Or a dress.
Or a horse.

Or a fortune.
Or a frog to kiss.
Or a problem I need to be saved from.
Or an incredibly high-pitched yet assertive voice.

What I do have is a folded paper sign that I made all by myself. On that paper, it says I’m a princess.
Things that are written on pieces of paper are true.
You just can’t argue with that.

If you do you’re stupid.

I am Lady Princess Twyla.
If you don’t believe me, you’re a poo face.