By Joe Ribton

Joe Ribton, Your Way

I could’ve paid a young woman in Pakistan to write a 20000 word document detailing the ins and outs of a niche within a well-defined but as yet unexplored subset of the modern advertising scene, but instead I wrote this scab for you all, at least I can write words. However, I shouldn’t be trying to sell myself. because it is not polite to force opinions on unassuming potential employers who are probably boarding a bus or sat on an overground tube, or are sufficiently nimble-thumbed to connect to TFL wi-fi whilst stationary on their sweaty Victoria line service to Walthamstow just long enough to download the contents of this brutally honest, no bollocks advert for Joe Ribton. Maybe a social media celebrity will retweet this scab and you’ll end up liking it way more than you do currently, who am I to say. Tell you what, Paypal me 5 quid and i’ll stop advertising Joe Ribton all together, because I know deep-down you all hate adverts and – so that you may like me more – I will playfully offer to stop advertising altogether should you simply give me enough money to afford another days existence on this ever-worsening planet. Discover Joe Ribton, i’ll be there with you every step of the way. I am the number one creative named Joe Ribton in all of advertising, and if you like my Facebook page i’ll make a big fat donation of nothing to nobody. I Joe Ribton, do you? A delicious, mouth-watering spoken word piece might of sold me better, apparently i’m not very interested in selling myself, but I am interested in proving to you that I – Joe Ribton – am self-aware to the extent that you will begin to question whether all of this was written by a machine being force-fed shit advertising like a duck pre-foie gras. Oh well, next time on Westworld.