Jetting off early on a Friday @susanmcfadzean

jessica gough jessicagough | December 4, 2017

Posted in Blog, Front, Keep
By Susan Mcfadzean
I booked cheap Ryanair flight tickets in what feels like a life time ago. In reality, I think it was a late Sunday night mid October. Definetly not a life time ago – probably not even eight weeks ago.
At the time a weekend out of London visiting my boyfriend in Sweden seemed like paradise. The last few months have been spent racing around and I told myself a weekend off was essential for the whole sanity thing. ‘It’ll be good for you’, she said. But then it came around too fast. Monday left me questioning if I could make it. Then out of no where it was Thursday and I hadn’t packed. And, somehow, suddenly it was 5am on Friday and I was working with my partner through the night to meet a deadline. I hadn’t showered, or slept.
The flight was from Stansted and I hadn’t looked at bus tickets. So I resigned myself. I wasn’t going to go when clearly there was plenty of other important things that could be done over a free weekend. But I had promised to bring back treats for my Swedish mafia (Petra & Twyla). Not to mention the far more important issue of a slightly neglected  boyfriend waiting for me in Gothenburg. He promised he understood I have to do what I have to do, but the sad smilie at the end of the text felt like a spoonful of guilt. And I relised I’ve been self centred. I won’t list everything because this is supposed to be a positive post. But cancelling on Kim messed up his weekend. Hurt his feelings. And I’ve been denying a lot of people my time and attention recently. But I realised, one deadline out of the way, how happy I am.
The problem is that I am forgetting to take a second to realise and appreciate it. I’m learning. I have literally been blessed with this mental opportunity to go through a process in a creative space filled with really really talented people and amazing mentors. And there’s the added bonus I might actually graduate with the tools to chase the dream career when the learning curve levels off in July. So what’s the use of being so tough on myself and making the people I care about miserable? There isn’t one. I needed reassurance today and Marc offered it. He gave me the go ahead. So I’m currently tapping away writing this post up in the clouds in the beautiful confines of a stuffy Ryanair airplane with of course a baby crying and an intoxicated man stumbling up and down the aisle. It’s perfect.
So thank you for confirming that it was okay to take this weekend off Marc. And guys, I hope reflections went well and the beer tastes good at the pub. Watching our case study videos has been in the best travel entertainment to date by the way. So have a fabulous weekend and Petra and Twyla, don’t forget to send me that shopping list! I’ll try grab your treats whilst out collecting some Swedish dots.