By Rita Riera Pastallé
I’M A SINGLE LADY
When I was a kid I had just one real friend at school. Her name was Judit and we did almost everything together.
Every time I mention her to my mum she reminds me about what we used to do at P.E in school. We both were really bad at sports. Awful. When it came to running, even though sometimes one of us could go faster, one would walk until the other was able to run again. They even got us prizes for being the last two pupils every single time.
Having one friend makes it easy to consider that person a part of you. We were the two strange birds reading books at lunch break and sometimes we sang songs and changed the lyrics when we couldn’t quite understand what they meant.
I met her when I started school at two years old. She was my partner, my sister and my friend. We made plans about our future. We were going to be brilliant scientists. She wanted to save animals and I wanted to get to the stars.
When I was 11 years old, though, my parents made a tough decision. For various reasons I was advised to leave the school.
Luckily enough my parents thought that I should have the last word on that.
Which means that at 11 years old I had to decide if staying with my partner and my best mate or leaving supposedly for the better. Tough stuff.
There was tears and talks. There was fear and confusion. But in the end, I knew what I had to do. And I had to say goodbye.
I found myself in a similar situation about a couple of weeks ago.
I came to the school being told I’d probably leave with a partner. I spent 8 months working with amazing people and trying to find myself through learning, trying and failing. I told myself that maybe this was not the place for me to be.
I was holding onto an idea of approval which wasn’t right. I tried to fit in a box for which I didn’t have the right shape. But then I freed myself, again.
I felt like I was 11 trying to break with what was given to me and sailing away from the comfort of having a partner who I could dream with and rely on.
I felt alone again. Under the pressure of my own decisions. But only being with myself I could find who I am.
Finally. After all this years jumping from Physics to Journalism to Marketing to Business to Advertising. I’ve found my purpose. And magically, all those things that I’ve been doing and seemed unrelated, now all fit beautifully together and make sense. Now I can say why I’m still always going to be a scientist, a journalist, an enterpreneur and a creative without feeling ashamed of seeming an undecided millenial.
I want to change the world through things that the world hasn’t seen yet.
And that is it. I found it and I’m not scared of doing it alone. I’m a proud single foreign creative woman on a search for learning and change and I know, exactly, what I want to do.