How Many Dots Is Too Many?

When it comes to collecting dots, should each weekend be reserved to an Albert Square level? Or should we be venturing into the realms of Damien Hirst? Yayoi Kusama even? How many is too many?

I eclipsed Walford levels pretty easily this weekend whilst not quite catching up with Damien, I’d say I sat slightly north of an ellipsis.

Anyway, all that dot collecting meant my promise to ‘catch more z’s’ that I issued myself on Friday has yet to be fulfilled… though I’m not sad about it.

On Friday, four double G&T’s strong, we headed to the London Short Film Festival to catch a series of animation shorts. The topics covered spanned everything from Anti-capitalism, love & loss and sex with donkeys. My favourite of the night was Time Chicken by Nick Black, a pun-packed detailing of what came first out of the chicken and the egg and it even features THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER… amazing.

Saturday came and I was out of my PJ’s in time to witness the striker-less Chels walk through Leicester and go seven points clear, with a rare straight-to-DVD Tottenham victory now feeling like a distant memory.

Later on that evening I headed down to the surprisingly rowdy George IV in Chiswick to catch a night of comedy. Headlining was Milton Jones of Mock The Week fame, a favourite of mine for a long time and lines like “if you’re being tracked by a sniper then cover yourself in hot cross buns” are why I’m a fan. However, on the night he proved merely a bonus for two brilliant acts before. First up was Irish comedian Eleanor Tiernan who informed us that Donald Trump’s stance on abortion would see him labeled a “raving lefty” in Ireland. Up second and the standout for me was London comedian John Moloney; if Micky Flanagan was your embarrassing Dad, then John Moloney would be your cool uncle – the stories of his stressed cat Edward had me in fits and he’s well worth a Google.

Things only got better that night, after a milkshake stop at Byron, I returned home KFC in hand just in time for the Patriots divisional round matchup against the Houston Texans (which they won of course), and I even found room to squeeze in some Taboo, the new BBC series starring Tom Hardy – think Peaky Blinders meets Pirates of The Caribbean – I’d highly recommend it for you series fiends out there.

Sunday was a battle to escape my bed but it was well worth it, we were treated to a writing workshop courtesy of the lovely Caroline. I would never have myself down as the most inspired writer but using stimuli such as photos, places in your life or even completely random items can draw out a surprising amount. In the space of five hours, I found myself comparing something to ‘a half submerged digestive biscuit’ and channeling an aspiring model from Tijuana, Mexico. I’d wager that all four of us left feeling a more confident writer. To make things even more wonderful that day both Liverpool, City & United dropped points #UpTheChels