By Rob Heimann
Honesty, arrogance and clean dishes.
Honestly? I have had teach myself honesty. As a child I was somewhat of a compulsive liar. It became a habit at school. I was smaller than the other boys, I couldn’t read or write as well as them. I had to go to special classes. I was a bit odd. I was un-coordinated and bad at sports. I was bullied, not badly, because I had a good imagination. If we’re playing power rangers or whatever I would come up with the adventure we’d be going on. But I still felt insecure. I still wasn’t comfortable. So I lied, I lied about anything and everything. It made life more interesting. It made me more interesting. Lying gives you shoddy and weak confidence. It can be unpicked and the facade crumble and you with it. It also can make you arrogant as a sort of defence against people who challenge your lies. Arrogance can be taken too far and you end up making yourself looking a fool rather than smart, or brave or insightful. I’ve been there and I get a little twinge of guilt and shame when I remember those incidents.
It has taken me twenty years to learn that being honest makes me stronger. Makes me more interesting. Makes me more confident and less anxious. It surprised me a little that I became more arrogant for a time after I started to be honest with my self and other people. I felt superior. That’s dumb and counter effective and I’m doing my best to deal with that. Being honest means that you have to confront your flaws, which is hard. But that’s how we grow.
I wonder if it’s some kind of arrogance means people don’t wash up after themselves? Or are creatives just messy fuckers? I’m just mad about the kitchen all the time and I don’t want to set a president of me cleaning up after other people. Whatever clean up after yourselves ya grubby gits!