By Rachel Ogbaretin
It took awhile but my imposter syndrome has finally kicked in again… Great!! You know that feeling that of knowing people are gonna find out the fraud you are. Yeah I think it was only a matter of time to be honest, from grad shows, to D&AD academy to now SCA, a lot of good things have been happening to me, so it’s natural for imposter me to rear her ugly head. I like to think that imposter syndrome is something we all face in our creative endeavours, it really messes with our self worth and perceptions of things. I guess you would expect me to give some advice on what to do when the feeling arises, sadly I’m still trying to find a way to manage the feeling myself, but I always finding it comforting in knowing others have some understanding of what I’m going through, so this for the others in my intake. Don’t worry I’m feeling like an imposter too!
Speaking of mental health I’m surprised there is an actual focus on it at SCA, it actually one of the more surprising things for me, when I was at uni mental health was at the bottom of the priority list, the deadline was everything, we would always joke about wanting the sweet release of death anytime deadlines approach and loose all sense of purpose when a project was finished. I still remember when we submitted our final project for uni and most of my class just roam aimlessly around local town, like a bunch of cage animals tasting freedom for the first time. I myself rarely like to think of my mental health, it something I can barely keep together with sticky tape but something it’s feel I might have to face when I go to sca, which kinda terrifies me, I have very little self worth, I often question if I can withstand the constant critique I will be getting, the constant feeling that I am outclass??? I really hope so although imposter me is going to have field day with all this. I have to admit when I got into sca I was really ecstatic but also skeptical, some people had to make videos and presentations of all kinds and I got in with the interview, I can’t get rid of that nagging feeling that I didn’t deserve this, I know (hopefully) I did but imposter me is saying otherwise.
I currently writing up the commentary for my passion project, it’s pretty simple looking but it’s more personal to me and is wrap around my personal perception of me, imposter me thinks it will bore my classmate but I wanna believe someone will like it…I mean the colour pink will be the only thing they will associate with me but at least it’s something. I’m not too worried about imposter me, once SCA starts and I’m in the thick of it being creative and solving problems, she might fade away to the background again.
Oh man that as kinda personal…ummm…fun fact!! Scientist have found a way to rejuvenate old cells which means we’re one step close to reversing old age :))))
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