SCABs

Have you seen my gut? – By @poppy_scarlett

By Poppy Cumming-Spain

 

Have you seen my gut?

I appear to have misplaced my gut recently. I’m not sure where I left it. I do hope it’s not lost forever. That would be a terrible shame. In fact, I really need to find it asap. Without it, I feel like I don’t really know what I’m doing. Right and wrong, good and bad have got all darn mixed up. It’s very confusing. I’m not sure what to trust, or do.

At the start of SCA you’re told to trust your gut, once you can feel it. So, you wait. You wait to trust and wait to feel it. Wondering when you will and what it’ll be like. You can’t wait to feel it. It’s always been there, it is an organ after all, but now you need to find your metaphorical gut. And it’s not the same one that made you choose between taking Drama or Dance GCSE, or whether to choose Ben or Tom from the other school (fictional characters, of course). This gut is a special kind. It’s a creative gut. It knows a good idea from a bad one and will steer you away from the really, really, really shit ones. Hopefully (this clearly shows that my gut is misplaced, because guts should be trustworthy).

While you’re searching for it, you’ll feel like Bambi did when he was first learning to walk (you’ll feel the same if you ever lose it). But everything feels a little easier once your gut is there with you. When you find that you can finally feel it, you feel very good indeed. Decisions happen quicker and more comfortably. You do lateral leaps and loop de loops with confidence.

Said metaphorical gut might appear spontaneously, but it’s especially desired when you’re wearing an equally metaphorical red hat. A red hat Edward de Bono told you to wear. Ideally at the same time your partner is, so your guts can work together. Decision-making with a partner gut is always better in my experience.

So, as you can imagine. I’m a little sad to have lost my gut. It might be hiding, playing a funny little game with me. Silly thing. Or maybe it’s on a little holiday? How fun. Or MAYBE it’s lost me, and it’s trying to find me? I do hope not. That would be sad.

All that idea-choosing and decision-making has become a bit of a pain without it. The last few weeks have been interesting. It hasn’t been easy. To be honest, I’ve gone a bit Bambi. Or a bit Blind Man’s Bluff. Wobbling around, limbs outstretched trying to find some solid ground or something sturdy to cling onto. Sometimes I’ve been searching around in the dark. We’re not quite at Murder in the Dark stage, as there haven’t been any total catastrophes, but never say never.

I’ve been searching for it for a little while now and I’m getting a tad worried. But I’m sure it’ll come back. Won’t it? Just in case, if you do think you’ve seen or felt a gut that might be mine, do let me know. And tell it that I wouldn’t mind if it came back. That would be great. Otherwise, I’ll keep searching. It has to turn up somewhere.

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