Hatfishing – By @saphire_rose

Amy Cranston | June 17, 2019

Posted in Blog|Front|Home|Keep

By Saphire Favell

Hatfishing

 

Alright lads, roll up, roll up. A bunch of you suckers submitted some anonymous questions to which I promised I’d answer with nothing but the truth. Hopefully noone is offended. Sorry if you are? Meh..

 

  1. ‘Are you confident the SCA class will all get something out of portfolio day or are them some singles/pairs that will end up with nothing?’

I really hope everyone gets something but I do think a few may be disappointed if they don’t sort their shit out asap. Time’s tickin’. I also think some people are completely deluded with their targets… but I’ll probs end up eating my hat because a lot can happen in a month. Make ups. Break ups. Shake ups. But I genuinely wish everyone the best and also think the best is yet to come from some people… diamonds are born under pressure x

 

  1. ‘Who’s been your favourite partner at sca so far?’

So far!? No more please thanks lol. Alex was great but it was stressful and depressing so defo Forrest cause he’s absolutely jokes. We’re new so we’re ironing out the kinks but all I do is laugh. Mostly at him. He has a different song stuck in his head every week that he sings or whistles on repeat next to me all day. Allll day. That will have to stop.

 

  1. ‘I’ve started going bald. Do you think this will be a problem for me on the dating scene?’

I was literally saying this to my housemate the other day.. everyone is bloody balding and as I’m getting older Tinder is sadly way more Crimewatch than Baywatch.

Look.. it’s not going to be a problem if:

 

  1. You don’t try hide it with a combover or whatever. Just shave the whole damn thing off. We’re not blind you know! We can see your scalp begging for sunlight beneath those measly tufts!
  2. God forbid you have an island 🙁 🙁 Shave the surrounding ocean of hair off my friend!!!
  3. Don’t you dare hatfish anyone. Honestly. Don’t you dare.

 

FYI: Hatfish

A man who is wearing a hat in every picture of his online dating profile and thus hiding the fact he is bald. Only for the unsuspecting woman to find out about said baldness in real life.

‘I went on a date and he was bald’ surely you already knew this prior to the date? No he had a hat on in all his pictures. ‘Oh no he was a hatfish

  1. ‘i’m getting a slightly selfish vibe coming from the SCA studio. I think it will become nasty. How can I out-nasty Hush?’

Hmmm… I’m not sure what you mean by this one? Haven’t really felt that myself.

It’s fine to get selfish, we’re all fighting for the same jobs. But it’s not fine to get nasty.

So I guess just call people out on their shit. How will they ever know if you don’t tell them. The truth, my friend, will set you free.

 

  1. ‘who do u think is in the wrong partnership’

No one. I think everyone that was in the wrong partnership has now broken up and navigating single life so woo! power to them. No point dillydallying in the last few weeks. Hopefully no one breaks up on portfolio day like Ed… but if you do let me know so I can watch.

 

  1. ‘How did you learn to draw’

Limited screen time allowance as a kid. Getting stoned as a teen. Needed a job as an adult. 10 000 hours. Minimum.

 

  1. ‘who do you fancy at SCA’

The incest pit. Literally no one. There is no time to fancy anyone. And most definitely none of you mingers.

 

  1. ‘How did you handle being single?’

I actually enjoyed the freedom for the short time and got on with it because I made that decision. But, to be honest, on the inside I was struggling a bit and felt unworthy of a partner. Regardless, I’d have made it work. Charles called me ‘fearless girl’ the other day. That was cute.

 

  1. ‘How do you deal with Forrest on a daily basis?’

https://www.amazon.co.uk/PetSafe-Anti-Bark-Spray-Collar-Citronella/dp/B00EAPCD92


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