By Lauren Bodiam
I wrote a SCAB yesterday it was probably just as miserable as a funeral so I decided after I finished not to send it. You see just as writing down something positive down can make such a difference to your day, writing the negative, has the same effect. It can imprint and manifest itself and make you feel a lot worse than before. It starts turning in to a cycle where its all you think about and all you believe. It’s not healthy. It’s precisely why Marc got us all self journals.
So heres my unsent SCAB remastered using positive thinking because I choose to be positive and see myself in a positive light.
I’m really fucking grateful for my friends, Beth, Eloise and Lucy they get me out of the bubble of advertising, Im grateful for them saying yes to events I want to go to. I’m grateful for them being with me at 2am chicken cravings I’m grateful for them sharing their homes with me when I’m too lazy or tired to travel home. Grateful that they’re part of the small group that I am comfortable enough to dance weird, sing loudly and don’t give me funny looks when I ask peculiar questions
I’m grateful for my mum, paying for me daily to get to in to London whether that’s going to school or just popping over on the weekends to see a bit of culture or to visit my friends. Also grateful for her making my dad give me lifts to and from the station so I don’t have to endure the many hills up to my house.
I’m grateful for free un stressful weekends where I can unwind back home and get on with passion projects.
I’m grateful for the microwave, without it I would be spending a lot of money on take outs (i don’t have a kitchen atm)
I found positive affirmation the hardest to do in the self diary the thought of writing something positive down about myself makes my stomach crawl and strangles my brain. Expressing positive things about myself goes against my nature. it felt almost fake as I didn’t believe anything I had written down. Its something I started to avoid in the diary it was uncomfortable extremely uncomfortable. we all learnt from Graeme Hall this week, we should be putting ourselves in to things that scare us. Believing in something positive I have written down scares me. I’m scared it’s everything I’m not. I won’t live up to what I have written but what I have forgotten in all of this is I can choose with actions. Writing positive affirmations is something to focus on, so that whatever you are up to you have a positive thought flowing through your mind that you can feel empowered, happier and ready to create.
So here is today’s positive affirmation;
You have enough passion on all your projects to get things done to deadlines don’t be fearful you are fearless.
This SCAB felt a bit like therapy, but maybe thats a good thing.