By Melina Filippidou
I used to have a quite balanced relationship with food. A relationship based on mutual respect and boundaries. There was neither passion nor sparks, with a few exceptions, but we made it work and we were both happy. I didn’t expect much from food and food didn’t expect much from me. It was ok I guess. Until three years ago I came across the well-known food channel Tasty by Buzzfeed. It was a rather moody afternoon and I was more bored than a meatball in a seafood buffet, so I watched a video. Thinly sliced potato nachos with steak bites and jalapenos and loads of melted cheddar. Boom. I wondered if this recipe would taste as naughty as it looked, and then I returned to my honest ham and cheese sandwich that definitely tasted as safe as it looked. But as the bite was processed in my mouth, I couldn’t help but close my eyes and fantasize about that sexy orgy of calories, the crunchy potatoes, the juicy beef and the glossy cheese. A proper sin.
Before I finished washing my plate, Tasty videos had become my new thing. Procrastination and gluttony had finally found a common outlet. At first, it was all about watching and not at all about cooking. I didn’t really bother to try any of those recipes because that was not the fun part. In fact, the real fun was not even the creative brutality of ideas like sodomizing a chicken with a beer can and roasting it in that position. I was simply stunned by the magic of having an amazing result with seemingly little effort. Deep down, isn’t that what we all want? So I greedily watched these videos on every chance, because basically, they were appealing to my impatience and my need for immediate completion.
Food and I were then in a real weird place. I was obsessed with the food in my screen and disappointed with the food in my fridge. So I decided to spice things up a little bit. Nothing too fancy, just some new moves, like a bleeding egg yolk on top of a grilled cheese sandwich, a balsamic glaze over a chicken fillet or some sautéed asparagus in a pasta sauce. By that time I had already discovered and followed five more food channels and once I started playing there was no coming back. Suddenly I found myself spending more time grocery shopping than most of the veggies in my basket could actually afford before expiring. Without realizing it, I became that weird person in the group that knows the difference between braising and stewing. My relationship with food is now taken to a whole new level. I’m whipped. I think about food way too often, my friends are complaining and so do my jeans.
I’m not a food snobby. I’m a food nerd. I can talk about the perfect salmon risotto while ravaging a bag of Doritos.