By Antonio Castellano

First step

Thursday, before I walked inside the school, I stopped. I looked at the building and time froze. I realized that the next step would have started something irreversible. I breathed in all the electricity, hopes and the energy. I thought that I could have lived in the moment forever, in that twilight of my life, in a sort of comfort zone, enjoying the positive expectations for the best and hardest year of my life in a safe spot. But people were going in and there was no more time for overthinking. I already spent enough of it. So I breathed out all the insecurities, regrets and bad thoughts. The time lowed again. And I went in.

I’m now in Holland Park, sunbathing (as Coco and Andy taught me one hour ago, thanks guys <3). I’m almost swearing but I need this sun. It gives me such positive vibes I can’t tell. It takes me back to my perfect summer around parks in Rome. I need that just to try to balance myself back after the start of this new adventure. I will need these healing spots and moments during this year. I probably won’t have anymore sunbathing, and the other place to have this kind of healing, as well as by meditating, is in friendships. I’ve fortunately already met great people I hope I can create an amazing relationship with. I’m sure I can’t pretend and I won’t be able to go through this adventure alone.

The school demands almost all the energy of your day, also I have to handle with living abroad. New small and other not-that-good-adjectives flat, new places, new weather, new timing, new people. More effort but we are here for this, challenging and go over the edges of ourselves.

Back in Holland Park. People walking and dogs are near them without the leash. They are gentle, occasionally sniffing each other bottoms. Calm and polite as English people. That’s so weird for me to see! What the duck?!

The first day was SO intense! I was amazed by the fact that I could be focused on listening continuously for almost 7 hours! I was never able to do it in my high school. Maybe because I never thought that what teachers were trying to teach me could really be helpful in my life. Now instead, I completely understand that this stuff is vital for my career. I’m 100% on it!

In the evening though, I was broken. Translating takes me extra energy, but I was able to understand everything. Well done brain!

Back again I’m Holland Park. Two men in their late 60s have just sat in the bench I’m sittin on. They have two wonderful dogs that make everyone wow. They start speaking Italian. I’m not that surprised. We are a lot here in London, I can hear so many people talking in Italian while I walk in the street. They look rich and people who succeeded in life, but don’t matter what, we Italian in London always look like fishes out of the water.

The second day was also unforgettable. Three classes: poetry, improvisation and mindfulness. This last one was so eye-opening. Too much things to write about, I just say thanks so much Marc to inviting him.

Today, the third, also was great. Collecting several dots, knowing more teammates and yes, this amazing sun. Now I see that it is setting down. Maybe it’s time to go. I  see people going away and there is no more time for overthinking.

I have to write a SCAB.