By Alison Pavoux
What are they? Why do they exist? Why can’t we always go over them?
Fears have always been there; they appear when you are young. You have fears, you will get over some of them, and others will stick to you for years, for life. I still have fears today, some I always lived with and new ones.
I used to be really shy when I was young, I couldn’t speak in public, I didn’t say anything during my first year at school, I never answered present to my name.
The teacher often called my parents to be sure there were nothing wrong with me: but nothing was wrong, I was only super shy. I had this fear of having people’s attention on me, a crowd looking at me or listening to me.
Of course I couldn’t hide myself forever and I had to speak in front of my class. It has been hard, I had some rough time doing my presentations, I used to become red as a tomato, my body and my voice were shaking.
So my parents thought it could be helpful whether I took theatre courses, and they were right. I have been in theatre class for two years, and even if it helped a lot, the fear is less present but still here. I challenged myself last year, I have presented my group advertising competition in front of a jury and 300 students.
It wasn’t perfect but I’m proud I did it.
Now I’m in SCA, we began two weeks ago and the thing I’m the most worry about is to be late and having to dance in front of the class. I think I couldn’t even show up, I would probably wait for the break. I’m a bad bad dancer, I would be so uncomfortable, but luckily I never used to be late. SCA is so different from all schools I have been through, we have poetry class, improve, drawing class, different mentors come every day.
I have been there only for two weeks yet, but any days have been the same, you can’t be bored.
Poetry class kind of remind me those theatre class. You are scared to write a poem because you never did that before, you think everything that everything you write is miserable, and you don’t want anybody to read it.
But then you have to read it in front of everybody, and that’s not that bad.
Finally, you feel like it wasn’t a big deal and you kind of enjoyed it. I’m glad we try ourselves at poetry or drawing, they are things I would probably never done, or even tried by my own.
All those sessions help me to feel more confident and to assume myself. SCA pushes us to be more curious and and open minded to every type of art, I like it.
I think and I wish at the end of the first term at SCA I’ll be able to do a presentation without being stress out, I would be really proud and even more because it won’t be in my mother’s language.