By Poppy Cumming-Spain

 

 

Extracting Blackheads during Porn

 

I don’t watch porn. This statement is usually met with an eye roll, a scoff or a “yeah, right!”, But it’s the truth. My only experience of the industry is a few minutes of, ‘A Night in Paris’, which my friend had found in her older brother’s porn stash when we were twelve or thirteen.  We were both horrified and confused, being that we were both virgins at the time, and agreed that if this was what sex was all about, we weren’t too fussed. While my view on sex might have changed, I’m still horrified and confused by porn. It panders to weird fetishes which spread further than they should, objectifies women and gives (young) people a skewed view of their body image and sex itself, producing unrealistic expectations and fantasies which can and have ruined people’s sex lives entirely. Apart from all of this, I just don’t get why it’s fun to watch. As I see it, there are two situations where people watch porn. When they’re alone and lonely or horny (or both), which just seems sad to me. Or, when they’re having real-life sex and choosing to focus their attention somewhere else but on their partner. Both, to me, seem strange.  

 

So, you can imagine that when I was introduced to a new series on Netflix, ‘Siffredi Late Night – Hard Academy’, which is effectively X Factor but for porn, I was less than enthused. But, I chose to take this as an opportunity to tick off one of our Christmas holiday tasks and watch something I would never usually be interested in.

So what did I learn, if anything?

• It would appear that there’s actually an art to producing good porn. Rocco, who runs the academy, takes it very seriously.

 

• Anything can be normalised. After a few episodes, the sexual language, nakedness and minor pornographic acts, weren’t that shocking.

 

• The experts perform sexual acts on each other almost robotically. There’s no hesitation to start, and they snap out of ‘character’ almost instantaneously.

 

• The academy might be the only place where public erections are acceptable and not embarrassing.

 

• People working or aspiring to work in porn are, in different cases, a lot more and a lot less attractive than I would expect. They also come in all shapes and sizes.

 

• Porn technically promotes body confidence, for those involved.

 

• Acting in porn won’t necessarily stop you from having a healthy, happy relationship.

 

• Storytelling is an important part of any scene (which makes sense as it seems to be a part of the human condition).

 

• For some people, porn is a calling. A few of the contestants had spent 10 or 20 years desperately trying to break into the industry. While I’m confused by their choice, their determination and commitment to their dream is undeniably admirable.

 

• The whole thing is shot in Italian, with subtitles. Turns out that “dirty whore” sounds almost poetic in Italian.

 

• Soundtracks can make or break a film (worth bearing in mind for the documentaries). The song choices for this series were hilariously random, odd and at times disturbing.

 

• I would rather watch a fifteen-minute-long video of blackheads being extracted from someone’s face than this show (I actually watched them at the same time and got a lot more enjoyment out of the blackhead video – take from that what you will).

Safe to say, I saw and heard some things I wish I hadn’t, but I can’t say that watching it was a total waste of time. I got an insight into a world I know almost nothing about (and, frankly, want nothing to do with) which is something we’ll likely come across in some form when faced with an unknown brand in Adland. I suspect I’d have learnt some more if I’d carried on watching, but I was only a quarter of the way through the series and my face was aching from grimacing. While the porn professionals were extremely passionate about their work and seemed to enjoy it, I still couldn’t help but find it all a bit cold, artificial and unappealing; unlike the blackheads.