By Twyla Liden
He watched me poke my nose. I didn’t mind. My eyes wandered but I couldn’t find anything to focus on. Must have been the drinks settling in. Finger still in nosey eyes finally landed on his face as I thought ’Is this the right twin?’. It wasn’t. His eyebrows were bushier and his hair messier. They spoke the same way though, so I closed my eyes and pretended it was the right one. I couldn’t be bothered to get up and correct my mistake.
I was waiting for a text from someone else, but they never replied so I continued the conversation. I lied quite a lot, not on purpose though. I just can’t help it when I’m drunk, it just slips out so easily. Most often it’s just me pushing it slightly, but still far enough from the truth for it to be a lie. It’s not that I’m not happy with my own stories, it’s just nice to try some new ones out. Days become months, interests become burning passions, other’s stories become my own, it’s nothing horrible, just new.
I only drink nowadays because I’m there, at the pub, not because I feel I need it. Some days I do feel like I need it, but never when I’m really sad. All I want then are Kettel’s Red Onion and Mature Cheddar Crisps. I also need Peter & Kerry — La Trimouille, a really sad album that makes me sadder, but also happy because I know all the words and can harmonize to the songs.
I’ve tried recording my harmonies but my voice is always too loud for me to hear if it sounds good with the song that’s playing. It’s a bit annoying but I don’t think it sounds too good so it’s probably for the best. I wonder if people think it’s annoying that I sing all the time. If they feel it’s me bragging, but I just can’t help it. It fills me with joy. No one likes a show-off though, that’s for damn sure.
Where is the line between showing off and just being proud of what you can do/just doing things you enjoy often and because you enjoy them, and do them often you happen to be good at them? And how do some people get away with being braggy and others don’t? Is it because they don’t know they’re bragging? Or is it because people feel sympathy because they only have that one thing they’re good at so we have to encourage them no matter what?