By Federica Martini

Don’t waste your time or time will waste you.

Don’t waste your time or time will waste you…Probably there’s no better piece of lyric to describe

how I feel at the moment.

To be completely honest I’m surprised by my bad results, I thought I was following all the

procedures perfectly: I woke up at 6 am everyday to start working earlier, I wrote a daily plan

everyday, and I really felt energized and in the right place. But at the end every piece of work that I

produced wasn’t good enough, and it really pisses me off. But what pisses me off the most is the

fact that what I do is the reflection of who I am, and at the moment I look like a little arrogant lazy

fucker who doesn’t give a shit. And guess what…I’m not! But I get it, I need to stop relying on ONE

good idea and wait for the next big inspiration from another planet.

I need to stop blaming the whole world if something i do it’s not good enough, I need to stop

believing that I’m the only one I can get advices from, I need to swallow down my anger and start

again, and again, until I get it right. The last thing I want is to wake up every morning for the rest of

my life and see that arrogant lazy fucker in the mirror all over again.

These last months have been like a continuous self challenging, there are so many things I was

scared of, and I’m not anymore, several times it’s been harder than I ever expected, but it’s fine

because I’m on my way to what I always wanted.

I’ve been lucky, I’ve been given a chance, and to be honest I really believe to deserve it, but at the

same time it doesn’t take a big effort to screw it all up or to not make the best out of it. I can’t let

this happen, for all the sacrifices I’ve done, my family have done, for all the people who believe in

me and for the person I want to be.

I’m ready for the final sprint!