By Federica Martini
Don’t waste your time or time will waste you.
Don’t waste your time or time will waste you…Probably there’s no better piece of lyric to describe
how I feel at the moment.
To be completely honest I’m surprised by my bad results, I thought I was following all the
procedures perfectly: I woke up at 6 am everyday to start working earlier, I wrote a daily plan
everyday, and I really felt energized and in the right place. But at the end every piece of work that I
produced wasn’t good enough, and it really pisses me off. But what pisses me off the most is the
fact that what I do is the reflection of who I am, and at the moment I look like a little arrogant lazy
fucker who doesn’t give a shit. And guess what…I’m not! But I get it, I need to stop relying on ONE
good idea and wait for the next big inspiration from another planet.
I need to stop blaming the whole world if something i do it’s not good enough, I need to stop
believing that I’m the only one I can get advices from, I need to swallow down my anger and start
again, and again, until I get it right. The last thing I want is to wake up every morning for the rest of
my life and see that arrogant lazy fucker in the mirror all over again.
These last months have been like a continuous self challenging, there are so many things I was
scared of, and I’m not anymore, several times it’s been harder than I ever expected, but it’s fine
because I’m on my way to what I always wanted.
I’ve been lucky, I’ve been given a chance, and to be honest I really believe to deserve it, but at the
same time it doesn’t take a big effort to screw it all up or to not make the best out of it. I can’t let
this happen, for all the sacrifices I’ve done, my family have done, for all the people who believe in
me and for the person I want to be.
I’m ready for the final sprint!