By Joe Fraser

 

Clippy

 

This is a conversation that actually happened. Mostly.

*Out walking my dog*

Joe: Oh. Hi, Anna.

Anna: Hello.

Joe: Aw, sweet dog. Haven’t seen him before! Where’s Clippy?

Anna: Clippy die.

Joe: Oh. Oh I’m so sorry.

Anna: Clippy old. Now this new Clippy.

Joe: You – you called your new dog Clippy as well?

Anna: Yes.

Joe: Right.

Anna: We no get confused.

Joe: Because –

Anna: Yes.

Joe: Because the other Clippy –

Anna: Yes.

Joe: Because the other Clippy’s dead –

Anna: Yes.

Joe: Because the other Clippy’s dead so why would you get confused right.

Anna: How is Poppy?

Joe: She seems all right. She likes new Clippy it looks like.

Anna: What wrong with Poppy’s eye?

Joe: Yeah she had a little infection but it’s –

Anna: Dangerous.

Joe: Sorry?

Anna: Dangerous to get infection. In the eye! The eye! At her age.

Joe: I mean, we have it under control so should be okay.

Anna: Could kill Poppy.

Joe: I don’t know if that’s true.

Anna: It’s how Clippy die.

Joe: Clippy died from an eye infection?

Anna: Yes.

Joe: Damn.

Anna: And cancer.

Joe: Right.

(Pause)

Joe: That sounds like the bigger reason for his death.

Anna: Yes. But the eye did hurt him.

Joe: I mean, for sure. But… but the cancer…

Anna: The cancer killed him. Yes

Joe: So, when you said Poppy’s eye…

Anna: How school?

Joe: Oh, how did you –

Anna: I walk with your mother nearly every day. We walk all the lake and talk about every thing.

Joe: Ah, okay. Well, school’s good. Still got a lot to learn but, you know, getting there.

Anna: Adverts.

Joe: Yeah, it’s an advertising school.

Anna: I like adverts.

Joe: Really? Most people hate them.

Anna: Good ones are good.

Joe: That’s true.

Anna: People like adverts. People don’t like bad adverts. They don’t know it. But it’s true.

Joe: Do you think so?

Anna: Yes.

Joe: Well, hopefully I’ll be making the good ones.

Anna: I don’t think.

Joe: You – you don’t think I’ll make good ads?

Anna: Good adverts don’t here anymore.

Joe: I dunno. There’s definitely a lot of crap but, like you said, when you see a good one you know it’s a good one. People are just so used to seeing shit ones they think all adverts are shit.

Anna: Should not swear.

Joe: Sorry.

Anna: So you no job?

Joe: I can tell you’ve been walking with my mum. No. Not yet.

Anna: Soon?

Joe: Yeah. A placement is more likely but a proper job would be – just – bloody great. Fingers crossed. Touch wood.

*Touches tree*

Anna: I don’t think –

Joe: Yeah I don’t think touch wood works like that either.

Anna: Is school hard?

Joe: Yeah. And no. The work is hard but, doable? I guess. It’s more working hard than the work itself is hard. You know?

Anna: No.

Joe: Well, I don’t know how else to say it.

Anna: Okay.

(Pause)

Joe: Do you miss Clippy?

Anna: Clippy over there.

Joe: No – I mean – old Clippy.

Anna: Old Clippy very old. It sad but now we happy with new Clippy. Move on.

Joe: Mm.

Anna: Okay. Clippy and me go this way. Goodbye, Joe! Say hello to you mother.

Joe: Yep, will do. Bye then.

*Anna leaves*

(Pause)

Joe: Move on. Hm. That could be an Adidas line. Or maybe Slazenger if I’m working on a challenger brand…