By Phil Gull
Art Directors text HOWDY to +447503375356. Messages charged at standard network rate.
I’m now a single creative.
This wasn’t part of the plan.
Nor is this really about me.
There are bigger things in this life than advertising.
But if you know someone looking for a copywriter with third-rate ability, second-rate health stability and first-rate alacrity, look no further.
But look well.
Looking well, in every of the many meanings of the phrase, is not something I do particularly well.
He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.
He that hath eyes to see, be my see.
There are many talented hybrid students in our year. Those who can write truthful and make beautiful. Those who can make lovely things alone.
I am not one of those gifted folk. My ability tree has no canopy. It is a solitary, vertical stick. And not a particularly distinguished stick, at that.
But if you pair a stick with something, it can become almost anything! An unlimited number of breathtakingly useful tools:
- 1. a dainty axe
- a flute for a fluting flautist
- a bicycle with grapes for wheels and after eights for really big pedals
- a backscratcher
- a rolled up picnic blanket on the end of the stick so you can wander the streets looking like you’re carrying your very final possession.
- the white flag of surrender
- the beige flag of honour, matchless daring, eternal fortitude and a recognition that while our days are numbered all, the glory of our deeds may live forever in the annals of human greatness and achievement.
- a pokey thing
- a bookmark for the book of nature, that is, creation, that is, life itself, that is, the mystery of the universe, vis-a-vis, Neil Warnock.
- a way to annoy wasps living in their nest
- a fake twig
- a real twig and a stick for side-by-side comparison
- a means of becoming the world’s greatest sportsman. Don Bradman trained by using a stick, not a cricket bat, to hone his technique.
- “a shadow stick”, a sundial to tell the time.
- a spear, for fetching pigeons or plastic bags out of trees, depending on your stance towards your stomach and the environment.
- an extra big match
- a scale-down model of a larger stick
- a scaled-up model of a smaller stick
- an infinite supply of increasingly smaller sticks, created by breaking the big stick in two.
- nature’s KNEX
If you’re a creative and want to be an absolute tool with someone else call +447503375356.
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