By Joe Colquhoun

A man walks into a bar.

For most of us, it’s the start of an underwhelming joke. We’re pretty used to these by now and you’ll be lucky to get a slight grunt or exhale in response. But have you ever stopped to wonder what your bar actually looks like? 

What’s the barman wearing? Is he a man or a woman? Old or young?

The man that walks in telling joke after joke… where’s he come from, what’s his story? 

It’s natural for us to paint the same picture in our head, but we rarely ever stop to think about it for longer than the joke lasts. We’re probably too focused on understanding the punchline and not looking simple.

For me, my bar is dimly lit. It’s a slightly seedy place that smells of stale cigarettes and whiskey. A lone man sits to the corner muttering under his breath, his cap covering most of his face. The sound of rain against the stained glass windows is barely noticeable. The barman is busy polishing glasses fresh from the dishwasher. He’s getting ready to close up for the night.

Suddenly the door swings open, light pierces through the room and the lonely man turns his head squinting. A dark silhouette of a figure enters, taking the three steps down into the smokey room, passing by the slot machine, the bar on his right-hand side. With an air of confidence, he approaches the barman, he’s not here for a drink. He’s here to do his job. The barman recognising him immediately puts the clean glass down. Trembling slightly he takes a deep breath, maybe this time will be the last? 

Anyways, I was asked this question a while ago and wanted to ask some fellow SCA’ers what their bar looked like. I find it fascinating that we all have a different image in our head so thought it’d be fun to share some very quick drawings done by my cohort.

As you might be able to tell, we’re not all natural artists.

Patxi’s Bar

My Bar

Jem’s Bar

Mad’s Bar

Tom’s Bar

Alfie’s Bar