By Phil Le Brun
As the month of fad diets, resolutions and generally being worryingly fat or worryingly skint trundles on it still seems it’s still appropriate for me to reflect upon 2017. Again? Yes, but this is the last time I swear.
I keep a constant stream of notes in a web of organised chaos on my phone of things I’ve seen, read, or been told so here’s a few nuggets from the past year which could send brains whizzing into light-speed or lull you into an apathetic haze. Enjoy!
Since 2010 the number of dogs getting stoned in New York City has increased by 144%. This is a big problem and although Snoop Dogg’s visits to the Big Apple could be skewing this data, vets say they treat this issue every day. I imagine as a vet this must be difficult as the owners of the stoned pets are probably partial to a bit of Marijuana themselves and probably unlikely to be taking the issue too seriously. In fact, it’s probably hilarious.
One of my favourite apps to launch in 2017 is the ‘Confessor GO’ emergency confession app developed in Spain. Handily it tells you where priests are in your area, but unlike Uber, the priest doesn’t come to you. To me, this seems like an obvious extension for the app and a nifty way for priests to double up and pad out the church donation box. We will see…
Other notable apps were a ‘find an iceberg app’ and the ‘stop buying things while drunk’ app. An app which I can’t imagine using personally and potentially flawed by the fact you have to be sober enough to tell if you’ve been drinking.
In Egypt, a politician tried to ban kids from wearing ripped jeans. Now personally I take absolutely no issue with this. There are certain parts of your body that I’d agree if you’ve got it flaunt it, but when it comes to your hairy knees keep them to yourself (Sorry Elliot). Egyptian MP Abdul Karim Zakaria, who’s already secured my vote, caused controversy by trying to impose a dress code on schools and universities. I wonder where he stands on the abomination that is jeggings?
In a year of stomach-churning revelations of sexual abuse and inappropriateness, there were sadly numerous creepy incidents that never even made the headlines. One such incident was a Czech nuclear power plant which tried to hire students with a bikini competition. The company said it wanted to promote technical education by posting a picture of ten school graduates wearing bikinis and hardhats on their facebook page and asking people to vote. The winner would get a two-week internship. In a shit-storm of backlash, the company decided to Czech themselves and ended up offering all the applicants an internship… Yay?
Finally, in a year when the issue of plastic waste shifted more deeply into public consciousness and I made some organic ice lollies to almost single-handedly resolve the issue, America showed us exactly how not to approach this problem. Unlike the rest of the world, Michigan was not in favour of any plastic bag restrictions. In fact, the state made it illegal for any local administration to charge or limit the number of plastic bags in shops. Other states including Arizona, Florida and Idaho have now followed suit. So with any hope, we’ll end up living in an enormous plastic wall-mart bag living off plastic cheese and straws.